Ep 29 Divine Worth Podcast: Chosen Vessels

Karen Papin: Welcome to the divine worth podcast. Our guest today is Amber Pearce.

Amber had a wonderful and unique upbringing raised off grid by addict hippies who converted to the church of Jesus Christ of Latter day Saints. They ended up becoming a family of 15, including eight adopted siblings. So she knows what it’s like to live in a home with dirt floors and no plumbing or electricity.

She’s definitely got stories and she shares. A lot of them on her podcast, Hope Smiling Brightly with Amber Dawn Pearce and on Instagram @amberdawnpearce. But the most important thing that she shares is what her life has taught her about the power of Jesus Christ. So Amber, thank you so [00:01:00] much for coming on here and being with us today.

Amber Pearce: Thank you so much for inviting me. 

Karen Papin: Well, I’m excited to talk with you. I’ve been following you on Instagram for a while and I love your podcast, so I’m excited to thank you.

Amber Pearce: I’m excited. 

Karen Papin: So you had an unconventional childhood growing up and you also lived in a large blended family. So how did that shape your early understanding of identity and divine worth?

Amber Pearce: Yeah. When you are in the middle of. such a huge family. You, at least for me, You try and find a way, like, where’s my place in this? How do I stand out? What makes me special, kind of thing. And for me, I kind of became the overachiever, right? Good grades made me stand out in my family and checking all the boxes and doing everything right.

That started, [00:02:00] basically, was the basis of what I thought worth was. Right. Worth was if you were recognized for something and if you were really good at that thing.

Karen Papin: Yeah. It’s always interesting to me just how much we correlate or I can’t think of the word right now, associate our worth with achieving.

Like if we are doing the right things or if we If do we just accomplish the next thing or, and then once we get there, it’s like, okay, now I have to, you know, accomplish the next thing. So that’s very interesting. And so what it sounds like is it’s this whole idea for you started because it’s like, you’ve got this big family and you want to stand out more.

Amber Pearce: Yeah. And it’s interesting too, how sometimes you’re the source of your worth can bounce around, right. Where. Maybe you were good at one thing, but you’re, you become less and less satisfied with [00:03:00] what that thing brings you. And so you look for something else. I think for women, a lot of times we try to find worth in what our bodies look like.

Well, maybe our worth is here. You know, when we’re searching in the wrong places for worth, we’ll never be satisfied. It will bounce around. So I do remember when I started thinking, well, maybe my worth is in how good I can be at sports or in how many boys like me, or how much attention that I get. And I started feeling a.

I’m really confused because, so I am five foot nine. I’ve always felt like I’ve kind of, I’m not a petite person. And then we adopted five sisters from Calcutta, India, who they were lucky if they were over five feet tall. They’re all so petite. My smallest sister to this day weighs 75 pounds. They’re just very, very petite.

And so to them, like, I was [00:04:00] this Amazon woman, you know, and I always got comments of, you How big I was, and they weren’t doing it to be unkind or anything, they were just like, you’re so big, your legs are so big, everything is so big on you. And of course, as a girl, that’s not really what you want to hear.

And so I started developing some incorrect perceptions there about maybe I wasn’t. Worth as much there because I was a bigger girl. So, you know, where do we find that, that real source? I think that is the journey that we’re all on. At some point, we’re going to realize, Wow, none of this None of this is satisfying this need to understand my worth, none of it.

So where do I go? And there’s a scripture in Isaiah, I wish I had it in front of me, but he talks about why are you [00:05:00] paying for the bread, right? That isn’t going to fill you. Why are you going to all these other sources that will satisfy if not? And so who is the source of our worth until we figure out how to stop looking around us for our worth?

And all the things that this world has taught us about our worth and. Turn and look to Christ we won’t find our true worth until we learn how to do that because our worth Number one, it cannot be earned With that and we can talk more about that’s what I spent my whole life trying to do was earn My worth if I could check all these boxes if I could be the perfect Daughter, not only daughter of my parents, but daughter of God, maybe that they would see me and recognize me and see that I was a good person.[00:06:00]

So, no, you can’t earn your worth. And if you look to the world and listen to its messages as to what your worth is, it gets really confusing there. So, no, the world cannot tell you what your worth is. And There’s even a quote by Elder Scott. He basically said that we have got to trust in God more than we trust in our own personal experiences and feelings.

And from the day we are born, we have all these experiences that teach us incorrectly what our worth is. And because I believed my experiences that I had more than I trusted the Savior and what he felt about me. And so it’s a, it can be a very difficult, but interesting and [00:07:00] beautiful process to truly learn where to get your worth from.

Karen Papin: Okay. So I, I love what you’re saying. And one of the things that my husband and I were just talking with our kids yesterday about was that God’s, Doctrine is actually really simple. Like if we, it in the scriptures, it talks about it being plain and precious truths, and there’s really a truth to that. And however, when Satan gets in the mix, he confuses everything.

And so I love what you’re saying. It’s like you go to. Source, you go to Heavenly Father and And he is the one that’s gonna help you to be able to see your worth.

Amber Pearce: Oh, absolutely. And I was just thinking this morning. Holy cow. Unfortunately Satan is pretty darn good at what he’s doing. I mean, he is the master of all evil and he is pretty masterful.

It kind of blows me away how he’s been able [00:08:00] to convince women. That they are not worth what they are actually worth. And, and this comes to my mind just because, like, I have some friends that are having a hard time living and loving the gospel because They feel that women should be more visible within the church, and they love the concept of a heavenly mother, but I see how Satan has so masterfully used heavenly mother to draw women.

Away from their divine worth and power. Holy cow. Because I see women that I love who are so focused on what they don’t know [00:09:00] about the fact that we have a heavenly mother and we don’t know a lot about her. They’re so focused on that, that they no longer see what they do know. And it breaks my heart. And I think it’s just.

We have to be so aware of what God’s definition is of value and worth and what the world’s is and recognize it for what it is, because the world wants to tell you that worth is to be visible, to be the one in power with an authority, that that is true value and That’s simply not the case. And I feel like Satan is distracting women and making them not realize how the magnitude of what their role is.

[00:10:00] Because he doesn’t, he knows that if we understand, truly understand and embrace the power of womanhood, that he’s sunk. He has no chance. And we, we’ve got to overcome that we’ve got to, I, I feel this personal desire to search in the scriptures and understand more for myself what my most important, my most divine role for me is a mother in Israel or a mother in Zion, as I’ve heard it say, I need to understand what that role is.

In a more significant way so that I can grow into that role and truly fill the measure of my creation because I feel like within that is the key to [00:11:00] accessing my full potential and power. It’s understanding that.

Karen Papin: Wow. I love that.

And as we get clear on that, it helps us to be able to know the direction we want to go and keeps us from following Satan’s views of this. We need to be seen. We need to, we need to be seen, but I like how you were talking about there. There is a difference in between what. The worldly view is of our worth and Heavenly Father’s view of our worth.

One of the things that I’ve seen as I’ve been doing this podcast is like, what exactly is true confidence? And a lot of times we’re like, Oh, I’m just not confident enough. I’m not confident enough. And it’s very internally focused. And I think also what you were [00:12:00] saying about the world’s view of how women should be is also very internally focused.

It’s more. Like I need to stand up, whereas with God, it’s more, how can I help? How can I serve?

Amber Pearce: Yes. I love that you said that because the scriptures that I was led to this morning was actually in Luke one, where Mary, the most beautiful woman is being asked to take on the most significant and sacred role that I can even.

Fathom. And what is her response? It kind of blows my mind, right? She didn’t be like, wow, I’m so special. Yeah, I can like, she didn’t put herself, elevate herself at all. She said, behold, the handmaid of the Lord, be it unto me according to thy word. She [00:13:00] defined herself as a handmaid. What what is a handmaid? A handmaid is a servant.

Behold the servant. of the Lord. What is a servant status? Right? What is our definition of this? That’s not a really high station. That’s actually the lowest of stations, according to the world’s view, a servant, but that’s what she wanted to be. And I want to follow her example. It’s exactly what you said is as we serve The Lord, I don’t know if the master, the the man who has not served him.

Yeah, basically like it’s basically saying if you have not served the Lord, if you have not a servant, you don’t know him, you cannot know him without serving him. And so if we want to understand [00:14:00] who we are. We have to understand who God is. That’s our spiritual DNA. So if we want to know more about ourselves, the key is coming to know Him.

And if we want to know Him, the key is service. How can I serve you, Lord? My will is Thy will. Let me serve you. And that process of letting go of our will, seeing God’s will, doing it, We start to become who we truly are, and it’s a beautiful process. And I have seen this process in my own life.

Karen Papin: Here’s what’s going on is in my mind is here.

We have, okay, we are serving the Lord. We are doing what we can to let his light shine to us kind of thing. And then we also, at times. If we don’t have that self confidence, [00:15:00] we struggle with having the faith to be able to take those action steps. So I guess the question is how would you view kind of that, that balance between those two things?

It’s having confidence or really it’s faith, right? It’s not necessarily completely believing in yourself, like I’m gonna, I’m doing it. It’s more having faith that the Lord will sustain you moving forward. And then, and then the world’s view of that pride coming in.

Amber Pearce: Okay. So I, what I’m hearing you asking is like, how do we balance the humility and the pride?

Karen Papin: Yes. And the thing

Amber Pearce: like, you know what, this, this was my exact same problem, but I have to backtrack a little bit too. Explain my thoughts with my own, a personal experience, I had done all the things I had checked all the boxes, but I was so fearful to move forward [00:16:00] in my journey because I, I desperately wanted to do the Lord’s will, and I was seeking it, but he was telling things me things about myself that I did not believe.

That I could not wrap my brain around and I was at that this problem, like, wait, if I believe those things about myself, am I not being like rightful and cocky and overconfident? I didn’t know how to truly believe and say I. I am a phenomenal daughter of God. I have amazing power and potential. I am astounded with myself, you know, even me saying that I’m like, we were taught to be humble.

So we think that we can’t believe those things about ourselves, but then let’s go back to Mary. [00:17:00] Right? Who immediately accepted the most.

Overwhelming call I could possibly imagine was told the kind of woman she was and even then she’s like, what saying is this like, whoa, but what if she had rejected it? What if she had done what I tend to do is be like, no, nope, nope, nope. That’s not me. Sorry. If you reject it, then can the Lord ever say, this is what I need you to do.

We have to accept and understand that worth, and once we do, then we have that capacity to speak as Mary did and say. Whatever it is, behold to the handmaid of the Lord, be it unto me according to thy word. And so I actually started studying a lot about what humility is. I think Mary was one of the [00:18:00] most beautiful examples of humility because she accepted the magnificent woman that she was and the magnificent role that she had.

Pride is to tell God that, no, sorry, you’re wrong. That’s not me. That is pride. And so as I studied humility, I realized I found this quote. Okay, so this is this quote about humility. Completely changed my perspective. And this is from a talk called to walk humbly with thy God by elder Marlon K. Jensen. And he said, I resonate to the English author, John Ruskin’s memorable statement that the first test of a truly great man, or I’ll say here, woman is her humility.

He continued, I do not mean by humility, [00:19:00] doubt of his own power, but really great women have a curious feeling that greatness is not in them, but through them. And they see something divine in every other man or woman and are endlessly foolishly, incredibly merciful. And especially that line, greatness is not in them, but through them.

And that’s where pride and humility can get easily blurred. Like if you were thinking, I am so amazing. This is all of me. This is in me, then yeah, that’s, that’s pride. But if you are like Mary, and what is another? Way, she was referred to a chosen vessel, a vessel of the Lord, right? So it was through her, [00:20:00] not in her.

She had a cleansed and ready vessel for whatever God asks. And that’s all we have to do. That is humility, being willing to live your life in this beautiful and pure way. So that whatever God asks, you know, that he can do it. Through you, whatever it is, and that is humility, not pride. So there you go. Isn’t that a cool quote?

Karen Papin: That is amazing. I love that. Yeah. Oh, that’s so good. What comes to mind is Proverbs three, it’s five and six. So I think it’s, it’s for six in all their ways, acknowledge him and he shall direct their paths. Yeah. And if we are, and then going back to the sacrament prayers too, that we may always remember him.

And I think that’s really kind of the key in all of this, is constantly [00:21:00] shifting our focus back to the Lord. If we’re constantly always remembering him and acknowledging him in everything, then that keeps us from really stepping into the other side of that, where we’re stepping into the pride, and it is more about us, versus Yeah.

Yeah. Versus letting it be through us.

Amber Pearce: Yeah. Well, and also following the Savior’s example, even the Savior of the world, the perfect person, yet he. He did not want us to worship him. He wanted to worship his heavenly father. Everything he did was to glorify God. He was the perfect example of humility, and we can follow that example.

Everything we do, we acknowledge that it’s through God’s power, and it is to glorify him. And recognizing that our role to, as women, [00:22:00] sorry that I keep on going back to Mary, but I just love her and I learned so much from her, but we have the same role as her, whether we can physically carry children or not.

We are chosen vessels to bring the Lord. Into this world, we bring him into the world through our faith, through our service, through our actions, through having the courage to take the Lord, the gifts the Lord has given us and magnify them to bless those around us. We have that same role as her, this magnificent and sacred role.

Oh my goodness. We should never forget that it is and ponder upon it and not get, I think another thing that kind of thwarts. Our ability to understand our own [00:23:00] divine worth is that we get so caught up in comparison and looking at the other amazing women around us. And instead of just looking at them, looking at them and saying, Wow, what a beautiful and chosen vessel.

Look at what she is doing through her gifts to bring the Lord into the world. Instead of saying that we compare ourselves like, Oh, she’s so amazing. I wish I was like that instead of looking internally and like, I’m a precious and chosen vessel as well, but I’m a very different, she’s a tall and skinny vessel.

I’m a shorter and rounder vessel, whatever, you know, like I’m completely different. And I have. Different gifts, but when we get distracted with what [00:24:00] everybody else has, we have a hard time seeing our own. And so that is the process, part of the process of understanding our divine worth, is asking God to help us see what our gifts are.

And then as President Nelson said, if we do that, we will bless the world. And I remember taking that invitation very seriously and praying to know, okay, what are my spiritual gifts? I had been told some, there are some that I recognized, but maybe the Lord could tell me more. And. Just a little, I don’t know, a few days or so after I was pondering on that question as I was getting ready for the day, the words came into my mind, you have the gift to bear testimony.

And I was like, Whoa, that is not a gift that I have ever been told. But the second I heard that, I was like, Oh, [00:25:00] that’s true. I do. I do. I’ve had this testimony in my soul since I was a little child. And I was that girl that always got up and bore her testimony on Fast and Testimony Sunday. But I had gotten confused that that is the only place you bear testimony.

I thought that’s what you did. I didn’t realize all the different ways that you could bear testimony in all the ways that because of that gift that I had been given, that I could help bring the Lord into the world. And it’s honestly, then I was like, okay, Heavenly Father, you promised that if I would use this gift, I could help change the world.

And. That is where I started feeling promptings to go on social media and start sharing my testimony on social media. It was really intimidating. It was really overwhelming. But here, once again, here it’s evident once it wasn’t of me, [00:26:00] it wasn’t in me, but because I was willing to believe that this is what God wanted me to do, I allowed his power to work through me and I’ve seen truly miraculous things happen.

And I can’t tell you how beautiful and gratifying it is. How grateful I am to my Heavenly Father every time someone reaches out to me and says, Because of this thing you said, I have a stronger testimony. And this is exactly what I needed to hear. Thank you for being the answer to my prayer. Isn’t it beautiful how God, if we will let Him use us as His vessel, He will do miraculous things through us and bless each other.

In just beautiful and tender ways.

Karen Papin: President Nelson says to seek and expect miracles. Part of that seeking is opening yourself up to receive that guidance and [00:27:00] taking that action.

Amber Pearce: Absolutely. Absolutely. But it’s a journey, right? It’s a journey. I hit the first thing he told us to do was to increase our capacity to receive personal revelation.

And that is key. You have to, how are you going to do what God asks you? How are you going to see your true divine worth? If you do not understand how to communicate with God and how he communicates with you, that is Step number one, and it was truly that journey to obey that to take that counsel that has completely changed my life as I started to receive more and more revelation in my life.

That’s exactly what the first thing that this spirit taught me was the misconceptions I had about myself and who I really was. And also [00:28:00] more importantly. The misconceptions I had about God, because I actually was in a pretty bad state several years ago because of perfectionism and wanting to prove myself to God, prove the worth that I have.

Already had by doing all the things and I started to suffer from severe anxiety and insomnia and it debilitated me. I started suffering horrendous vertigo and it was in the middle of all that, one of these sleepless nights that the Lord spoke straight to my mind and said the most painful words I’ve ever heard, but life changing words.

He said, you know, me not. And I was like, what? How is that possible? I do all the things. How [00:29:00] do I not know you? I realized that I had created this God in my mind that was very demanding and disappointed in me, and would only give me blessings if I did things exactly right and checked all the boxes. And It had made, it sucked all the joy out of living the gospel, right, when you are living from that perspective.

So when I realized that I had it all mixed up and I started on this journey to truly know who God is, and realize how incredibly loving and merciful and patient He is, It gave me so much freedom, right? Because that is where my fear came, not being able to do all these things that were in my heart. I was like, [00:30:00] I will disappoint God.

I know I’m going to disappoint him. And so I’m just not even going to try. I know I’m going to fail, so I’m just not going to try. It’s, it’s too painful. But when I realized that God is like, He doesn’t care about the outcome. He cares about my growth and my efforts and filling this joy and that he’s so forgiving and encouraging.

And I don’t think disappointed is in his vocabulary. He just loves that we’re learning and growing and Making mistakes along the way and learning from them. And as soon as I realized that all that fear just washed away, like, Oh, nothing can go wrong. Nothing can go wrong because there’s something called forgiveness and God will show me the way and forgive me when I mess up, just move forward.

And, and of course, knowing him. [00:31:00] And starting to see how he wanted me to serve him and serving him in that way. It’s just been such a beautiful process. I can truly say I am of immeasurable worth. I can do amazing things and have done amazing things through Christ. And that is not just for me. That is for anyone.

Karen Papin: Thank you so much for sharing that. What came to mind was it’s our mistakes are not surprises to God. And so we like, we are the ones who hold ourselves to this high level, but God knows that we make mistakes, like, and he knows what mistakes we’re going to make before we even get there. And that’s why we have the atonement.

That’s why we can repent. And that’s why repentance is [00:32:00] joyful because God knows us and he loves us and we can overcome through the atonement. Absolutely. Yeah. And it all goes back to humility, like you were talking about earlier, right? That’s the key. Yeah. So Amber, I would love for you to share your favorite divine worth scripture.

Amber Pearce: Okay. My favorite scripture of divine worth is something that I actually repeat in my mind. Every single morning and every single night, something similar to this. I take these beautiful scriptures that mean so much to me and I, I tweak them a little bit to make them more personal to me. Second Timothy 2.

21 says, If a man therefore purge himself from these, he shall be a vessel unto honor, [00:33:00] sanctified and meet for the master’s use, and prepared unto every good work. And it goes along with everything that we’ve been saying today, like If we are a vessel unto God, man, the things that he can make of us and do with us.

And we are beyond treasure when we are able to figure that out. Even if we don’t figure that out, we are beyond treasure. We’ll figure it out someday. Good thing we have an eternity. That’s

Karen Papin: so beautiful. What is one small and simple thing that those listening can do to take action from what we’ve talked about today?

Amber Pearce: Here’s one small and simple thing. I love to do this on my own podcast. And so that’s what I want to share here, because [00:34:00] it leads people back to seeking personal revelation from God. So in understanding divine worth, ask God, what is something that I believe about you that’s incorrect? What is a incorrect perception I have?

And help him correct that perception. And then also asking him, What do you see in me that, that I am not seeing and ask him to help you see it.

Karen Papin: Good. So good. Thank you. And then the final question is how can our listeners connect with you?

Amber Pearce: You can find me on all social media platforms. I’m the most engaged on Instagram at Amber Dawn Pierce.

And you can also find me anywhere. You listen to podcasts. Uh, on my [00:35:00] pod, anywhere you listen to podcasts. And the name of my podcast is Hope Smiling Brightly with Amber Dawn Pierce.

Karen Papin: Well, thank you so much, Amber, for being on here and talking with us about divine worth. I loved it. So thank you.

Amber Pearce: Oh, I loved it too.

Thank you for having me. That’s so

Karen Papin: good. I just love the idea of being the vessel. And, and so it, I love that,

Amber Pearce: that was your scripture. I say that to myself every single day, multiple times a day, literally, I am a chosen vessel to prophesy of Christ, a vessel of honor, sanctified in me for the master’s use, prepared unto every good work.

I can. Rattle that off like nothing.

Karen Papin: Oh, that’s amazing. I That was a new one for me. And so, I was like, I really want her to talk more about this. And then, like, just After our conversation, like looking down at it again, when listening to you, Rita, I was like, [00:36:00] wow, that really was like perfect for what we’ve been talking about, you know, wrapped it all up.

So, so even

Amber Pearce: though I couldn’t remember anything, hopefully the spirit still guided. I’m sorry. I hope that was okay. I hope it wasn’t too far off for me to talk about what’s happening with some people with Heavenly Mother. I just, it’s just on my brain. And so. It’s just like, please don’t fall for that.

Karen Papin: Yeah.

Yeah. No, I think it’s, it’s a good thing to hear. And it, have you ever heard of the book, The Gap and the Gain by Dan Sullivan and Dr. Benjamin Hardy?

Amber Pearce: I’ve heard it. I’ve never read it. I’ve never read it.

Karen Papin: If it’s so applicable to the gospel, because it’s like so often when, when we talk about like goals and things like that, we measure ourselves against where we want to be.

And that is, we’re in the gap. Whereas if we look back at all we’ve gained from the process, then we put ourselves into the gain. And so [00:37:00] I think of that so often with gospel concepts, because people are focusing on the lack. They’re trying to see the lack in the gospel when really there’s so much more you can gain if you focus

Amber Pearce: on that.

Yes, absolutely. You should have said that in the podcast. Maybe I’ll include it.

All right, sounds good.

Karen Papin: All right, great. Thanks, Amber.

Amber Pearce: You’re welcome.

Karen Papin: If you have found this podcast to be a light, please share it with others and leave a review. This helps others to be able to find the podcast as well. If you are struggling with feeling fearful, overwhelmed, or just struggling to see God’s love for you for a limited time, I am offering to create a personalized meditation specific to you, what you’re struggling with and what you hope for.

This meditation will give you [00:38:00] strength as you learn to manage the thoughts in your mind in order to have more faith in God’s plan for you. To get your own personalized meditation, go to karenpapin.com/meditation or click on the link in the show notes. You are of worth. You have a purpose.

The Lord loves you and he believes in you. And only you can make the impact on this world that you are meant to make. Join me next time as we talk more about divide worth potential.