Ep 16 Divine Worth Podcast: The Light in the Dark with guest Shannon Jones

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Welcome to the divine worth podcast, where we are letting go of our self doubt anxiety, fear, and limiting beliefs so that we can step into the divine roles that God has for us. I am your host life coach, Karen Papin, and together we are embracing our divine worth.

Right before we dive into today’s episode, I just want to give a little bit of a heads up that in this episode, we do talk a bit about losing a child to SIDS. So just, Giving you that heads up for those of you who might feel triggered from hearing about those things. All right.

With that, we’re going to dive right in. 

Welcome to the Divine Worth Podcast. Today, we have a special guest. Her name is Shannon Jones. And so, Shannon, how about you go ahead and introduce yourself?

Shannon Jones: Yes, I’m Shannon. I was born and raised in Ohio. I moved to Utah when I was an adult. I’m a convert to the church. I was baptized when I was 23 years old. I have [00:01:00] five beautiful children. One of my sons. My son died from SIDS when he was three weeks old, and I now run a Instagram account called the worth of souls. And the reason that I started writing the account was to uplift me during The hard time after losing my son . It’s just a place I can go and just feel a spirit and to share the gospel of Jesus Christ.

Karen Papin: Well, thank you so much for being here. I’m looking forward to talking with you and hearing more about your story.

So first, what I would like to know and ask you is how has Heavenly Father shown That he believes in you and that he loves you.

Shannon Jones: So for me, God shows me the way he believes and loves me, is by continually rescuing me and helping me and being there when I need him. so I’m just gonna go ahead and share my conversion story because I feel like that really shows god’s love for me, because it shows that God is long suffering and [00:02:00] he doesn’t give up on us and that our prayers are answered in his own timing. So like I said, I was born and raised in Ohio and my first 10 years of life were really hard. My dad, he was a really bad alcoholic and he drank a lot and my mom did a lot of drugs.

And so as you can imagine, between those two things together, my house is chaos, chaos, Most of the time. And on top of that, my mom’s dad, would call me stupid and just name called me. So I had a lot of emotional abuse happening with my mom and my grandpa. And so my parents didn’t go to church a lot. The only time I did go to church was when I was with my grandparents.

And that church is a lot different than the churches I had been to with like my aunt. I’d go church with her as well. And I experienced in 1st grade. It really changed my life. I had somebody come up to me and tell me, that Jesus was going to come away and take away all his children, and at this time I had literally not known really who Jesus was, like I had gone to church a little bit, like heard my grandma and grandpa preach, but I didn’t really, no one really taught me about Jesus Christ, and so [00:03:00] I was really confused, like, okay, well, I, who’s this Jesus guy, like I don’t really know him, like, He’s going to come and take me away.

I’m going to be away from my family. I just remember this feeling like I need to be with my family and I don’t want to be separated from them. And it made me feel really sad as a kid, even though I was in all this chaos, I wanted to be with my family still. And so I went home and I remember it was a night, my parents were partying and drinking and doing drugs.

And I went up to them crying, just saying like, mom, this girl told me that they’re going to take me away from you. Jesus is going to come and take me away. Like, who is Jesus? I was just freaking out. Like, who is he? And she was, like, laughing, like, you know, because she didn’t really understand, like, how serious this was for me.

So, after that experience, I found out Jesus was a savior and I found out he was the savior of the world.

After I found that out, I just really clung to him because I was in a situation where I knew I needed saved. Like my dad was drinking, my mom was doing drugs, I was being called stupid regularly. I didn’t feel like this was the life I wanted to live, you know? And so I knew I needed saved by him.

There were many times like it would get so bad, like my dad would be drinking at [00:04:00] the bars, he’d come home, my parents would be fighting. It would get so bad for me, like I would envision running away from my home. It was just really, really hard for me. And I’m sure people have way harder lives. I know they do.

But for me and my sensitivity, this is really hard for me. And, I would have a Jesus picture sitting next to my bed with children around him and I remember praying and just like in my own way as a child I could like begging God to come save me when things would get hard like my parents were fighting really bad at night and it was really loud and scary.

I remember praying to him. in these experiences I had, I remember, commonly, I would, like, on Sunday, try to beg my mom to go to church so I would beg on Sundays to go to church and want Easter. She did take me to church and I was so excited and I remember seeing Christ face on the wall, on a picture and I remember seeing him and I can even see it in my mind still.

And I knew. So deep in my heart that he was going to save me if I was if I stayed close to him. He was somehow some way going to save me. Anyway, so my parents got divorced when I was 10 years old. My dad got cancer and he almost died. My dad got remarried after he got divorced [00:05:00] and, after he got remarried, they had a kid and she only had a 7 percent chance of living.

So I had a lot going on and on top of that, my mom was starting to go downhill on drugs. So, you know, I didn’t really feel like I had very much support as a child, like a teenager child, just because there’s so much going on in my family.

 I didn’t feel like really anyone like was there for me. So I really stayed close to Christ because like he was there for me when I didn’t have anyone. And then around 18 or 19, I got into a really abusive relationship. And so, around that time I had this really strong feeling, to apply to Disneyland for an internship.

And so I applied to my, to the internship. I somehow got in. I worked at Disney, lived at their apartments. And I met this girl that I was working with, Shea, and she became my best friend. And we would party a lot.

While I was at Disneyland at the internship, I went to the Price is Right, just with my friends, and, a random guy came up to me, asked me for my number, asked me to go on a date, And I said yes, [00:06:00] and so we ended up going on a date, and I found out very quickly that he was a Latter day Saint, and he went to BYU, and so I went back to my friend, and I was like, oh, I’m dating this new guy, we’re going on dates, and he goes to BYU, and she was like, Like, kind of freaking out a little bit because she’s like partying with me all the time, she’s like, he’s a member of my church, and I’m like, wait, what?

Like, I didn’t know you went to church. Anyways, so I continued going on dates with this guy, maybe went five or six dates. And he essentially taught me all missionary lessons kind of while we’re dating. And so I got those lessons from him.

 And that was like my only experience I had with the church.

I had one more experience like a year before that. I was in a nursing school and one of the girls that was in the nursing school was also a Latter day Saint, and she got persecuted regularly by, that’s the only reason I knew she was LDS because she’d regularly get persecuted by the Christians in my nursing class. And so, like, I think that also to kind of led me away from Christianity because I’m, like, sitting here learning about Christianity. And then on top of that, I’m seeing all these Christians persecuting another religion. I’m like, this isn’t okay. Persecuting someone for their [00:07:00] religion isn’t okay in my eyes.

So, it really kind of led me away. So, fast forward. The program ended. I went back to Ohio after my Disney public college program ended, and continued partying it was really bad, like I was partying all the time, and all my friends at that time abandoned me, they don’t want to be my friend anymore, and so I would probably feel like the lowest I’ve ever felt in my whole life.

And then on top of that, I was still seeing my abusive ex, I was trying to get away from the one that abused me and led me away from Christianity. I was still kind of seeing him. And, I had found out he was cheating on me, and I was really devastated. I remember driving home , like my life’s over, my friends just abandoned me., I just got cheated on by my ex boyfriend and so I drive home, and I get home, and my parents have my bags packed and they had found alcohol in my room from all the partying I’d done and that was a kind of big rule in my family because my dad was an alcoholic and you can’t be around it like you can’t have alcohol here you’re going to have to move out so they gave me an option to go to rehab or move out and I don’t feel like [00:08:00] I really have a problem. And so I was like, well, I’m not going to rehab because I don’t feel like I have a problem. Anyway, so I left my house, had nowhere to go, and so I went to my aunt’s house,. My friend Shay, the one that was LDS, was living at, King Henry apartments at BYU Provo and she called me.

She’s like, boo, get over here. Come to Utah. So much fun. Like, just come for the summer. You come hang out my friends be so much fun. I’m like, like, I don’t know. So, I remember going to Taco Bell and I remember praying to God.

I just remember saying, God, I literally don’t know what to do. Please tell me what to do. And I got this distinct, voice in my head, like impression, drop all your classes at your university, which I was currently going to and take your car, which is already packed and drive to Utah and go with your friend.

And I’m like, Like, what? Like, I had never had an answer, like, a prayer answer like that before, like, so distinct, so clear. And I was like, well, I have to listen. This is I feel like God telling me. I prayed to God. He gave me an answer. I feel like I need to listen. So I remember dropping off my classes for one, and then putting oil in my car, calling one of my friends, and just driving to [00:09:00] Utah.

And so I got there and the first thing I noticed when I got to Provo was like the people and how incredible they were and how much love I felt from them, like to me, like how much love they radiated.

And I was just like confused because I’ve been told my whole life raised as a Christian that Latter day Saints were evil. They were to call, they were told like these horrible things that, the church believed and stood for and I got there and actually witnessed a group of Latter day Saints together and I felt the spirit so strong.

I felt so much love and it was the, I just felt like I just wanted to be around them. And so my friend at the time was still kind of partying and drinking so I asked her to sign me up to meet with the missionaries and she wouldn’t sign me up. She just didn’t want the missionaries around. So I signed myself up, so I went online, LDS. org, and signed myself up to get a Book of Mormon, and a few days later, the missionaries came, I was able to get the lessons. I remember an experience where [00:10:00] I was being taught the plan of salvation for the first time and I had a distinct memory.

I had learned this before. Like, this is something I had already been taught and I thought that was so weird because this is nothing I had ever learned. So I just felt so good, reading the Book of Mormon, being with the missionaries, I knew this was the right direction to take. And another thing I struggled with before I was baptized is reading the Book of Mormon. A lot of times reading comprehension was really hard for me, and reading the Book of Mormon was really impossible for me . Never made sense to me just because it was hard for me. Like, my brain just couldn’t process it for some reason. And so I was confused, too, because I’d read the Book of Mormon and I didn’t understand. I would like, every time I’d read a paragraph or anything, I read a scripture, a verse, I would ask, what does that mean?

I don’t understand what that means. And so, I kept on just meeting with the missionaries. And so, I ended up getting baptized, and, It was crazy too, because right before my baptism the bishop told me that a lot of times, like, before you baptize, Satan will work extra hard so you don’t get baptized, and I’m like, okay.

Like, I’m good. Like, I’m strong. I can do this, you know. And then it was crazy the night before I was baptized. There was like so much opposition. Like, I was like calling my friend. I was [00:11:00] ready to drive back to Ohio. I’m not going to do this. I was calling my friend, like crying, and you know, I feel like that was really Satan trying not to get me baptized.

And I ended up getting baptized and I felt so much better. . So I’m having all these spiritual experiences. I really learned that no matter what difficult situation we’re in, that God is there, and that we can rely on Him in any circumstance, and I feel like it’s a lot we think it’s easier to rely on ourselves, and we think it’s easier to rely on our own wisdom, but, At the end of the day it’s not going to get us where we could go in our potential.

Like, our potential, we can be our best selves when we are relying on Jesus Christ. And through this experience, it may, it reminds me that no matter our circumstances, we are never lost to Him. He can save us in any circumstance. And the fact that he remembered me as a child, as like a little child, he remembered my prayers.

He saw me praying and crying and begging for his help. [00:12:00] And the fact that he actually remembered me and he came to me and he put certain circumstances in my life to lead me to his gospel and his church was the most incredible test of his love because it just shows that he is long suffering and he doesn’t forget us and that we truly are precious to him.

And there’s been many times that I’ve struggled feeling his love as well, even after baptism. I think a couple months later, I got my patriarchal blessing. And I remember getting it. I didn’t really have a strong testimony in the priesthood. I didn’t understand the priesthood.

It didn’t make sense to me. So when I went on to see my to my. My priesthood blessing. I was not like positive about it.

I didn’t believe it was a revelation from God. It didn’t make sense to me at all. So I got my blessing and like my blessing was like incredible. Like it had all these incredible things it said about me and I didn’t believe it.

I remember feeling so angry because I didn’t believe all the things he had said. I think that’s too why I didn’t really believe he had the revelation from God because I didn’t believe the words in my [00:13:00] blessing. So that kind of hurt my testimony in the beginning just because I saw all these good things about myself, but I didn’t believe them.

There was one point it got so bad where I even ripped my patriarchal blessing up because I’m like, that doesn’t make sense. Like, God says all these things about me, but I can’t see those things he sees in me about myself. Like, this can’t be real, you know? Anyways, my daughter was born and that kind of pushed me to kind of want to test it a little bit more and, kind of rely more on my covenants.

And so I started going to church, taking the sacrament, just doing the small and simple things, like not even reading my scriptures, just like going to sacrament, trying to go to church, try to go to temple regularly do the things that God wanted me to do, and, over time, I can now see those things in the patriarchal blessing as real.

And I didn’t at the time, and I think it’s ’cause I didn’t believe the way that God seen me. I saw me at the time. I didn’t believe that, believe that I could be that. And there’s one line of patriarchal blessing that really stood out to me that I think that really God put in there for purpose and it said, it’s really who you are and who you are [00:14:00] becoming. And that phrase, it’s really who you are, stood out to me because I thought I was this horrible person, this really bad person, just had like very low self worth. But even though I had that really low self worth, God didn’t see me that way.

Karen Papin: He saw me the way like he sees me and I love that he mentioned it’s like really who you are because like I feel like sometimes we get stuck in that pattern of thinking I need to do more to become who God wants me to be. I need to do this, this, this, more, more, more. But in reality, it’s just Sometimes just accepting, just accepting you for who you are, and just being okay with it, anyway, so I, feel like God really showed me a lot of love too, by, giving my patriarchal blessing, because, Those things that he saw in me, he saw those things in me before I saw them in myself.

There’s a couple of things that I want to talk about from what you’ve shared about your story and, you kind of testified about this too, is that Christ [00:15:00] was there in all those experiences that that you went through. He was the one that was there for you, even when no one else was. You went through a lot of really hard things growing up. And even since then, like in, when you were introducing yourself, you talked about your son. So it’s, it’s beautiful to hear your testimony, to hear how the Lord is there even in those dark times in those nights that, that it’s really hard to see light and yet gave you glimpses of him as you were growing up and kept putting you in different situations to help you to be able to see people who would lead you to the church.

Shannon Jones: Yeah. You said like, it’s really hard being like the light in a dark, like it’s hard doing that. But in my mind, like when you said that, I said, no, it’s hard to the opposite. it’s hard to [00:16:00] be in a dark situation, have no light. It’s crazy. Cause like I had this visualization, like I visualize this.

Like, if you’re in a dark, like think about being in a dark room, and there’s nothing, and you can’t see anything in that dark room at all, it’s completely black, like you can’t see anything, and all of a sudden you see like a pinprick of light, just a pinprick, barely anything to even like comprehend, what are you going to start doing, you’re going to start going towards that, right, and so I feel like, you know, yeah, it was hard growing up that way, but if I wouldn’t have had his light, I feel like essentially would have been destroyed like it wouldn’t have been like I wouldn’t have a good life at all, you know, I wouldn’t have the light of Jesus Christ, and I feel like when we go through hard experiences, it’s almost easier to hold on to his light because, like, when you’re surrounded by darkness, what do you cling to?

Light, you know, it’s not like we’re like, you know, you don’t want more darkness, you know, you’re in a dark room, you don’t want to go through the dark tunnel, you know what I mean? You want to go to the light. So it’s like, yeah. [00:17:00] I think Satan tries to trick us to think it is hard to hold on the light during the hard times.

But that’s actually, I think the easiest time, because, you need him. You know, I think I struggle a lot more when it’s like easy and there’s no trials in my life. Maybe that’s why I have so much trials.

Karen Papin: Well, it’s, it’s in those harder times in our lives, we have a choice.

We can either get angry at God or we can turn to him. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And, and so those experiences for you were times when you were able to recognize, no, that’s what I want. I want him and I want that light in my life.

Shannon Jones: Yeah. And I feel like I was more angry at my family than I was God. You know what I mean?

Because like, I don’t really feel like it was ever God’s thing. Because I felt God’s presence so strong in my life. And another thing too, growing up, we grew up on eight acres of land. So my whole backyard was woods and just like hunting woods. So I spent a lot of time in nature growing up. And so I feel like that helped me as well cling to like God. Because, When I was going really hard time I could just go to my woods and I could [00:18:00] just feel like the spirit around me, you know, and I could have an escape to like go outside and like be in the woods.

It was cool because it’s fenced in so I could like kind of explore like however I wanted. And I feel like when we’re going through a dark time, like we can get angry with God, but like, , it’s not God’s fault, and we can use everything for our good and DNC, I think it’s 122 or 123. I can’t remember which one it talks about every experience in our life being for our good.

And I think when we truly believe that, I mean, things are gonna be hard things. I mean, I struggle all the time. I sometimes lose hope all the time, but. If you can just try to rely on him, most of the time, and just try not to forget him. That’s another reason why I love to regularly go to the temple, because I feel like when you go to the temple, it’s another place I really feel God’s love.

 Because you could be having the worst day ever, like, just sad, depressed, angry, all the things going wrong. But when you walk into the temple and feel that spirit wash over you, like, none of that stuff matters. Like none of it matters and it’s just having that [00:19:00] eternal perspective that, you know, and I feel like to going through this child experience.

Yeah, it was hard, but it reminded me that God is long suffering. And so now when I go through a trial, it’s not like I don’t want this anymore. I mean, I experienced that, but just to know, like, yeah, There’s something good going to come out of this, even if it’s just for my learning and my knowledge and my experience like that is like, there’s a reason why I’m learning this and I may not know it now in this life.

It may not be seen until I die. And like, I’m with God. I may not know, but just have faith that our experience as we go through our purpose and that we are meant to learn and I feel like that it does show me God’s love because like, we could have came to earth and just never learned, just have fun and just do whatever.

But the fact we came here and he wanted to teach us. and to try us and to help us become all he is. It’s just a test of his love. I just feel like going through it yourself, like any experience you go through yourself, like I lost a child and I didn’t know what that was like until I went through it myself.[00:20:00]

And so like that is just such a beautiful like just even being here on this earth like really is a miracle that we’re here and it’s just such a blessing to be here. And to get a body because, so many people die when they’re so young or you just, it’s just to be grateful, you know, and I feel like God does show me his love just through like life, just being here, just being a human, and just the experience and feeling his love, like an everyday life. I feel like when you really live so close to spirit, like, which I struggle with, I struggle with living close to spirit, you know, I feel like we all do. But when we live close to spirit, that’s, I feel like my goal to live that way, you know, to where I can always recognize his hand in my life.

And I don’t think I always do, I know I don’t always do. But, just the fact that his hand is in my life, is Shows me he loves me and he’s in all of our lives, you know, like he cares about us.

I feel like the only time I really struggled feeling his love to be honest was after I lost my son Because it was like, God, if you loved me, like, why did you let this happen? You could have [00:21:00] woke me up. Like I woke, I like, I mean, it’s kind of a trigger warning. So if you’ve ever struggled with like miscarriage or loss, probably skip ahead from this.

But like, I went to bed and I had my son in my arms, like I would sleep with him at night, all my kids I did. And I woke up in the morning with like a two in the morning with him dead in my arms and I just was wrestling with it. Like. God, if you’re real, why would you let him die in my arms? Like, why would you not wake me up?

You have angels. Like, you can do anything. Like, why would you not wake me up? And so I really wrestled. I think, and that was like all of 2022, part of last year, I feel like I really wrestled with this. Like, God, like really, do you love me? This is why I was sharing the gospel online too, as well.

And I learned, just because God loves us doesn’t mean He stops bad things happening in our lives. Like, I think sometimes we think, okay, well, if bad things are happening in our life, it means God doesn’t love me, He doesn’t care. But, in reality, you may not know it now, but you need to go through the experience for some reason.

And even if it’s just to empathize that other people had gone through the same thing you had went through, or if it’s just to be more [00:22:00] grateful for your children you have, or it could be anything in life, but one thing that really came from losing my son was a renewed, like, I think before then I really struggled being myself and being confident, like, standing up and being who I wanted to be, and after Huxley died, I was just, like, Life is way too short.

Life is way too short to sit around and be quiet and not stand up for what you believe. So, after my son died, that’s when I really started sharing my testimony online. I started showing my face a lot more. Before that, I just posted quote photos. Like, you wouldn’t even know who I was before. But, after he passed, I was like I need to be who God wants me to be.

I need to stand up for truth and righteousness. And I feel like, after losing Huxley, It was a blessing I had my social media because all that time you could spend with a newborn, which is really hard. I think that’s really hard after you lose a child, is like, that time, that time that you were, because after you have a baby, you have, you have, like, you’re just busy.

Like, right now, I just had a baby two months ago. I am sleep deprived. I am busy. I have no time to myself. Like, when I was pregnant, I had a lot more time to myself. You know, when you have a [00:23:00] newborn, they just have a lot of needs. And so, when you have a loss of that or like a miscarriage or anything, you lose like that, like that time that you would be spending with him.

And so instead of spending that time with him, I really put all my energy into sharing the gospel online.

And then, I realized like when we share the shared truth, it brings us joy. And so I learned that and that’s another way to show God shows me he loves me because the more I share about him, the more joy I get.

Karen Papin: It sounds like that is really the only time that you Like really got angry with God or a question like, why, why did you do this?

Why didn’t you stop this? and so it sounds like this experience that led you to sharing more, your testimony online helped you to better understand or it helped you to be able to overcome that.

Shannon Jones: Yeah. Yeah, it did. And I feel like, too, it was like a prompting from God. It just felt like, I need to do this.

I remember feeling just this strength. I don’t even know where it came from. That you need to do this. Like, you need to share. [00:24:00] And, yeah, it definitely helped me overcome it. But, there was a lot also I was, like, not feeling as well. Um, like, it just, grief is like that.

You have moments where it’s like, I feel good. I can do this. And then moments like, I cannot make it through this day. And so it was still really hard losing him. Like, literally the hardest time I’ve ever went through in my life was losing my son. It literally destroyed me because I had this like false belief in my mind because I God had protected me so much in my life Like nothing really bad happened.

Yeah, there’s all these bad things happening around me Truly like even that time I was abused he protected me You know what I mean? He led me to this church and so like for this to happen and not have my son I just really had a hard time like He didn’t protect me.

You know what I mean? He didn’t protect me when I’m clinging on to him at this time. Like I felt like I was trying to cling on to him. I was sharing the gospel on Instagram. I was trying to cling to him. But he like, you know, he just was gone. So it was just like. Really devastated. I don’t know why for some reason in my mind, like I thought God was gonna [00:25:00] protect me and he didn’t and that was why I was upset and so angry because I thought he would and he didn’t but he did though.

He really did. That’s the thing because he protected my heart. He protected my soul. He, he led me to share the gospel that brought me joy. I think any loss that we have in life, We’re going to struggle and we might wrestle with God. And I feel like a lot of times we’ll feel shame about that.

Like I’m a bad person because I’m wrestling with this, but I think, Holland said a quote, it was Elder Holland that said it, he said if you go through a faith crisis, that’s real faith. Like, that is Abrahamic faith. That is the faith. And I feel like when I lost my son, that was like my, like, first faith crisis I’ve ever had, because, if God was real, why would he let my son die?

why would he let him pass away in my arms of all things, but I don’t think it’s as much let it happen that things happen in life. And he protected me, he knew that I was going to lose my son, he knew this was going to happen, so he gave me that gift of having that eternal perspective, that I could be with him forever, I just think that, He gave me that [00:26:00] gift of his gospel, and that really carried me through losing my son.

Because if I didn’t have the gospel, I probably would have turned to drugs, especially with my history and, addictive personality, and I would probably turn to drugs and alcohol, and I probably wouldn’t have, I wouldn’t be the person I am today. So, like, that’s another reason God showed how he shows me his love is by, protecting me, protecting my heart, and, leading me to paths that are prosperous for me.

And only for me too, because, your life is totally different than mine and totally different experiences and I think it’s so beautiful how he leads us all individually.

It’s another experience I want to share. I mean, all these experiences are coming up. Um, I don’t want to share about the experience a lot. I probably won’t share the whole experience I had. but before I decided to share this gospel on social media, I was kind of going through a really hard time. just really didn’t kind of lost myself.

I didn’t know who I was. And I Remember I went to bed one night and I had this dream and I’ll just share like a little bit of it I was at the temple and Christ was sitting down and he was wearing red and it was like he was sitting on a throne It was [00:27:00] like wow. He lifted me up and he told me like straight to my face He said don’t lose thy confidence

I woke up That morning And I was like telling everyone I was like, I just saw Jesus Christ I just saw him like I want to go back like let me go back to that dream Like I don’t want to do this anymore. Like let me go back like I knew that was Christ and from that time forward I feel like I had a and that’s before huxley died as well so I feel like he was also preparing me for that, you know, because If I wouldn’t have his gospel because I was kind of like, you know I was sharing the gospel online, but like I said, I wasn’t reading scriptures, I wasn’t going to the temple.

I was kind of slowly, you know how you can easily just like stop reading scriptures, stop going to the temple, and you just slowly just like kind of get away. Like it wasn’t like a patriarchal blessing moment where like I’m upset with God, I don’t believe this, like this is not real. Like this was kind of a slow like trickle away, like Christ came to me in a dream and said, hey, don’t lose that confidence, stay strong, hold on to the iron rod, like you need to stay here with me, like you need to stay in this gospel.

And so I think that’s another way God shows me he loves me is by leading me and guiding Letting me know like things are gonna happen before they do, not like obviously didn’t tell me like your son is gonna die, but hey, don’t lose that [00:28:00] confidence because you’re gonna need it. You’re gonna need confidence for what you’re about to go through.

Like, if you don’t have your confidence, it’s gonna be really bad for you. And so I had that experience as well.

Karen Papin: Well, thank you for being willing to open up and share your story with us today. Um, so what is your favorite divine worth scripture?

Shannon Jones: This is why I created my account actually, worthofsouls

because the scripture

I just think it’s so simple. This is the most simple scripture ever, but it’s Doctrine and Covenants 18. And it is 10 and it’s just so simple. It’s like remember the worth of souls is great in the sight of God And I just love that scripture because it’s so simple and just to remember that You are worthy in his sight like he sees you way beyond the way you see yourself Just like me the girlie that did not like believe in herself.

God believed in me before I believed in myself and so like You may not think you’re worth it. You may really have low self esteem and not like you may [00:29:00] think really bad things about yourself, but God doesn’t see you the way you see yourself. And one of the biggest blessings in my life has been praying to see myself the way God sees me instead of seeing myself the way I see me.

Because, we come to this world and there’s people in this world that are insecure and struggle and they project those insecurities onto other people. But to know that you’re worth more than that, that you’re worth more than the things people have told you or said about you, you’re worth more than the opinions of other people.

You’re worth more even than the way you think you see yourself. And so if you’re struggling with self worth at all, because for a long time in my life, I struggled with self worth for a long time. I didn’t think I was worth anything. Like I was just a girl living life.

Shannon Jones: Like, you know, I wasn’t. Like, I didn’t see myself the way God sees me. If you don’t, can’t see yourself the way God sees you and you’re struggling to see it, pray to him. Ask him, ask him, how can, how do you see me, God? How do you see me? And then when you get an answer, then take action. You know, if [00:30:00] he’s like, I see you as beautiful, well, don’t look in the mirror and call yourself ugly.

You know what I mean? Look in the mirror and call yourself beautiful. Like, you know, I think a lot of times we feel like we can’t think of things about ourselves. But like, it doesn’t benefit us to play small. It doesn’t benefit us to hide away.

It benefits us to, it benefits God to stand up for him and his truth, and it benefits you too. So just pray to God and ask the way he sees you. And I know, I promise he will answer you in his way, in your way.

Karen Papin: So beautiful. Yes. I need to ask this question, so I know we’re close to running out of time, but I, I really want to know, how did you come to start believing your patriarchal blessing?

Because you said that one of the reasons you tore it up was because you didn’t believe it, like you didn’t see that within yourself. What changed? How did that change?

Shannon Jones: Just going to church. Something so simple as just going to church and taking the sacrament. I [00:31:00] honestly can’t say there’s one experience that changed it all for me.

 I think a lot of times you think, okay, there’s going to be experiences that change it all for me, right? But like a lot of times there’s like really powerful, there’s such power in small, simple things. And if we just go back to the simple things, a lot of times we can get blessings from that. So, I don’t feel like I came to a realization, like, wow, this is me, you know what I mean?

Wow, this is awesome. I think it was like more of a slow realization. Like, okay, well, this thing is my patriarchal blessing. Okay, well, I start going to church and I start seeing this thing in myself. You know what I mean? Like, okay, wow, I kind of believe that, you know, and then I start seeing something else.

I, okay, I kind of believe that too, and I get a calling and I, okay, I can do that. You know what I mean? And it’s just like trying it. It’s like, one thing I love about the gospel, it’s like a try, you can try it out. You can test it out for yourself. And so I feel like the way I started believing my spiritual blessing was just going to church, reading my scriptures.

 I actually think reading my scriptures really did it because in 2019, that’s when I really, because I never read my scriptures really. Oh, and I had another experience too. I struggled reading the Book of Mormon and I couldn’t even understand any of it after I was baptized.

Another reason, there’s no way God showed me his love is I [00:32:00] miraculously started understanding his words. It made no sense. I’m like, wait, I literally was reading it a week ago or a day ago or two days ago, got baptized. Now I kind of, I cannot even understand what it’s saying. You know what I mean? For that to change that much was crazy.

And so reading my scriptures helped as well. and just doing those small and simple things, going to the temple, surrounding myself with people that uplift me. Just doing the things, clinging to light. I just feel like it just Came and I think losing my son too was a big proponent because I’m like, I can’t live this life small anymore I can’t live this life not sharing the truth and not sharing my testimony anymore I need to do what god wants me to do You know even like it’s scary getting online and sharing your testimony Like you’re afraid your family’s not gonna like you like my family does not like the gospel They do not like the church like I can post on my facebook about the gospel and I will get hate comments from my family You know what I mean?

So I didn’t like it was scary but like I feel like we, God believes in us more than we believe in ourselves sometimes. And we can rely on Him and His belief. And He carries us through it too.

You know, He will uphold me. And so I think it’s like scary, okay, I’m gonna get [00:33:00] online and share the gospel, but He helps you. He really does. Like, 90 percent of the ideas I get are from God. I really do believe most of my ideas are from God, because it just comes to me.

It’s not like I’m like, Hey, I’m going to sit down and think this idea, I’m going to figure it out. You know, it’s just like, okay, this sounds good. And then it gets like, 200, 000 views, and reaches people it needs to reach. So I just feel like, just like kind of getting out of your own ego and just realizing like, you know what, like I can do this.

And if you get pushback about sharing the gospel or like sharing light and truth and guess what, that’s going to happen. That’s going to happen. And you can rely on, like, other people’s testimonies when they’re going through hard times and knowing that, like, it’s going to be okay.

Karen Papin: The scripture that came to mind as, as you were talking was first Nephi three, seven, where Nephi talks about, I will go and do the things which the Lord hath commanded. And then he goes on and says, for I know he will provide a way for me to accomplish them. And. It’s so true.

It is so true. Sometimes like, for me to be like, can I really do that? Like I, I get in too much in my head, right? [00:34:00] I don’t know if I can really do that. It’s just really going to work. But when I focus in on, no, the Lord’s asking this of me, he will help me to be able to do it.

Shannon Jones: Yeah, that’s okay.

Sometimes like I’ll struggle to like for example, podcast, I have actually have a podcast I want to start, but I haven’t started because I’m scared, you know, but, I feel like sometimes like, Hey, we need to go do it. Cause God said, no, you do it. But he does, he really is patient with us and he gives us time to learn things we need to learn.

So, I feel like a lot of times we beat ourselves up more than, then God, I don’t think God beats us up. he encourages us, he empowers us. So I feel like, even if God prompts you to do something and you don’t do it, it’s okay because, like, you’re learning things you need to learn, you know?

One thing I’ve learned recently in the last year is to become more compassionate with myself and just to find that compassion, because God has compassion for me. Like, he sent his son for me, to die for me, to atone for my sins. Like, how compassionate is that? Like, that’s the the biggest act of compassion ever.

And, we don’t need to beat ourselves up. Like the way we do, you know? God’s not beating us up, we’re beating ourselves up, you know? He’s encouraging us, and if we’re getting that voice, it’s like beating ourselves up, [00:35:00] or like, I feel like that isn’t from God, that’s from Satan. But God really does lead us to do things, and He can empower us too, so just like, when you feel that empowered feeling, that’s God,

and just run with it. I kind of beat myself up because I’ve started my podcast yet, you know, it’s like it’s been hard for me because I’m like, I should have started it. God prompted me to do it after my son died, but I’m like, maybe I was learning some things like, during that time I felt prompted till now, now I feel like doing it, maybe I had one of those things to get here, you know, and I feel like sometimes like we get prompted at a different time too, like if God prompts me, like prepares me before I’m prompted, too. Yeah. Yeah. He’s always preparing us, too, and that’s like good to know, too, like, like we’re always being prepared for the next thing, you know? Didn’t really know, like, he’s there, and he will hold our hand through it all, you know?

Karen Papin: He’s very patient with us.

Yes. I’m so thankful for that.

Shannon Jones: Yes, he’s so patient. A lot more patient, I think, than we understand. I don’t think we can comprehend it, but he’s so patient for it with us, I agree. And long suffering, you know, and just there.

Like, we never [00:36:00] have to feel alone while we’re here, like, I always think one of the hardest things in life is being lonely and not having friends or having someone there, but we will never get to that place because we always have Christ. Like I could never be alone because he’s always there, so I feel like we are all really Being prepared by God at all times, and we just don’t know it because we’re just also being mortals and, taking care of kids and dropping everyone off at soccer practice, it’s hard to like, be like, wow, be prepared, but it’s like the way he does it is like, so beautiful, it’s just, even with all the trials in life, like, one day, we’re going to be standing in front of God, and we’ll be with our family, and we’re going to, all those trials we went through in mortality would be just like, Just a glimpse, like just a small glimpse of your life, just so small, like just the moment now is so small compared to Eternity, you know, and just focusing on that eternal perspective, I think

will help you endure to the end and also to another thing you mentioned earlier that kind of brought up with scriptures reading scriptures. I love how you said that I will go and do. I feel like when we read our scriptures, it helps us know what to do too, because we can continually read people that went through the [00:37:00] same experience with us.

similar experiences with us, even sometimes same experiences, and we can see what they did and how they relied on God and how they didn’t rely on God and what happened. And it’s just so beautiful we even have the scriptures. And I think that’s a test of God’s love too, that we have the scriptures because he gave us instructions.

He’s given us like the way. We just need to be humble and to follow him and to rely on him. That’s why I love Carl Jung. He was a psychologist, but he, there’s an interview, I posted on my Instagram like a week ago, but he’s like, I don’t believe in God, I know.

And I just feel like when we get to that point where we know, it’s like, you really can’t go back from that, you know? Just trying your hardest to get to that point. And I think to get to that point, you have to show up, you have to do the work, you have to do those things, like going to church, reading the scriptures, you have to test it to know.

And it’s just like Alma 32, you have a seed, and you plant the seed in your heart, and you don’t know if the seed’s good, but if you just let the seed sit there dormant, it’s not gonna do anything either. You have to test it. You have to do more of it. So like when I, my first testimony I bore as a member was about that, about seed.

And I just [00:38:00] told him, yeah, I have a seed, but you have to nurture that seed. That’s what I learned after being baptized, you have to actually nurture it, and when you nurture that seed, it can grow. And then once you nurture that seed, it can grow. You can see, is this a good seed or bad seed, and even my patriarchal blessing, that was me planting a seed too .

Like, well, I’m not this like it was a negative seed and I tested and it wasn’t good. You know what I mean? Cause I, I tested that. I tested believing that I wasn’t good enough, that I, it wasn’t these things that God told me. And it led me down a really bad path where I just hated and didn’t really like my life anymore.

So I feel like anything in life we can test it. And that’s just shows God’s love that he doesn’t just give us our gospel. Like, Hey, you have to follow this is like what you got to do, but you’re able to test it. You’re able to try it, improve it.

Karen Papin: Yeah. Well, thank you so much for coming. How can people connect with you?

Shannon Jones: So you can reach me out on my Instagram, the worth of souls. You can connect with me there if you want to DM me, I’m really bad at responding to my DMs. So just know that, but like you can connect with me there.

Every, on Wednesdays I do a divine worth live, we do that on Wednesday evenings, so you can go tune into that. [00:39:00] but yeah. Great.

Karen Papin: Thank you so much. Thank you so much for coming.

Karen: If you have found this podcast to be a light, please share it with others and leave a review, which helps others to be able to find the podcast as well. To learn more about your divine worth and potential, you can check out my divine worth scripture study journal with over 52 scriptures relating to your divine worth and potential.

You can find that on Amazon by searching divine worth journal by Karen Papin. Or through the link here: Amazon

You are of worth. You have a purpose. The Lord loves you and he believes in you and only you can make the impact on this world that you are meant to make. Join me next time as we talk more about divine worth and potential.