You Belong: The Family Proclamation, Divine Worth & Finding Your Place

Heavenly Father doesn't expect us to have everything perfectly right when he gives us something. He gives us truth and allows us to be able to work on it.

All right, welcome to this episode of the Divine Worth Podcast. What I want to talk about is actually a lesson that I had the opportunity to teach about a month, maybe two months ago. And it's something that has been on my mind a lot since then. And I was like, you know, I should really share this on the podcast as well. And so that is what I'm going to do. And that lesson was on Elder Ronald A. Rasband's conference talk from the October 2025 General Conference called "The Family Proclamation: Words from God."

One of the things that I love about the church is how we are taught to pray to know truth. I remember when I was in my first year of seminary. I had an amazing teacher — my mom was my teacher — and that year we were talking about the Doctrine and Covenants. I remember that first day walking in and she had set up the room as if it were the Sacred Grove. She had brought in all of the fake plants and trees from around the building. We just walked in and it was a really peaceful setting. And she talked about how she wanted the theme for that year to be "I have learned for myself."

She talked about Joseph Smith's experience — wanting to know which church was the true church, how he studied and prayed and went into the grove of trees and knelt down to pray to know the truth. And afterwards he goes to his mom and says, "I have learned for myself." And that is one thing I just love about this church — one of the most oft-quoted scriptures in the Book of Mormon is Moroni 10, where it talks about praying to know the truthfulness of the things written within that book. It's something we encourage as missionaries. The whole Doctrine and Covenants and the restoration of the church happened because of questions that Joseph Smith and others had. He would go and pray and receive revelation. And that is something we are encouraged to do for ourselves — to pray to know the truthfulness of the gospel, to pray to know the truthfulness of the Book of Mormon, to pray to know that we have a living prophet, President Dallin H. Oaks, on this earth today.

To pray to know the truthfulness of the other doctrines that we have — including the Family Proclamation to the World. And so this talk that I had was on the Family Proclamation to the World, and it was a beautiful discussion. Because what kept coming to my mind as I was preparing this lesson was the phrase: I belong.

As I was sitting there in Relief Society, we were singing a song called "Welcome Home" — one of the newer songs within the church. It talks about how we all gather together and we are welcome home. It talks about the temple and how that is us being welcomed home. And then the third verse is about going to live with our Savior and being welcomed home. As I was sitting there listening to the words of that song, "I belong, I belong" was what kept coming to my mind. I felt this immense love for the sisters around me, and love that the Savior had for me as well. And I realized that is what Elder Rasband's talk was all about — we belong.

I got up there and I wrote "belong" on the board. And we talked about Elder Rasband's talk. There's one thing in here that he says that I love:

I love that quote because there are times in our lives where we don't feel like we belong, where we don't fit into the ideal that the Family Proclamation portrays. And yet here an apostle of the Lord is saying — you belong. You are a child of Heavenly Father. You are a part of his family, and you belong.

So when we start to feel like we don't fit into the ideal the Family Proclamation portrays, there can be that shame that comes in. Stop for a moment. If you ever feel like you are falling short, that you don't measure up — there have been times in my own life where I felt like I did not belong, where I struggled to feel connected with those around me at church.

And yet the Lord was still there with me. He knew what I was going through. He knew I could overcome it. Towards the beginning of my marriage, my husband and I struggled with infertility. I remember how hard Mother's Day was because they would be talking about mothers and I was not a mom. I remember the pain of each month when I would realize that I still wasn't pregnant. And also just the extreme grief I had when I did get pregnant and I had a miscarriage and I lost that baby. There was such pain there. And we felt so far away from the ideal that we think of when we think of a family within the church.

And the truth is that we all have different families. You may be struggling with infertility like I was at the beginning of my marriage. You may not be married at this time. Maybe you're in a marriage that is really difficult. You have kids who are falling away and taking their own paths and things are just not looking the way that you had planned. Or maybe you are in what most people would call the ideal family, and yet you're struggling because it's not easy. Whatever the circumstance is that you may be in — this proclamation still applies to you, because you are part of Heavenly Father's family.

So what I feel is important when we read the Family Proclamation is that it is the ideal. It is the direction that we are going. But it's not something that we take and think, "I'm so far behind." It is the direction that we are going. Heavenly Father doesn't expect us to have everything perfectly right when he gives us something. He gives us truth and allows us to be able to work on it. That's something that we learn about with the Garden of Eden — that Heavenly Father gave Adam and Eve space after the fall to be able to repent, to learn, to grow, and to become who he saw in them. And the same is true with us.

He has provided a Savior for us to be able to overcome all things — one who understands us, who knows what we are going through, who can help us to repent if we need to repent, who can help us to receive strength in those moments where it feels so hard to go on. He can help us to see that we are of worth, that we are divine — even in those times when we feel like we aren't where we are meant to be. And when that shame starts to come in, the Lord can remind us that there is always hope, that it is not the end, and that we are of great worth exactly as we are.

Elder Rasband says about the proclamation:

I love that, because when he reads the sentence "the family is ordained of God," what he sees is that it is a call for us to remember who we are and who we are becoming as children of God. He then goes on to quote President Nelson, who says:

So one thing I want to encourage you to do is to read through the Family Proclamation again with that in mind — that it is a loving Heavenly Father trying to tell you who you are, and give you guidance and direction for helping you to teach yourself that, teach your families that, and grow closer together as a family.

Elder Rasband talks about how the proclamation is divine in origin — it is doctrine received from the prophet and the apostles. He says in the first paragraph of his talk, "by divine design this proclamation with its revelatory words was created to maintain and strengthen the family as a fundamental unit of society." And as I said — if there is anything that you struggle with in relation to the Family Proclamation, what do we do? We pray, return to the Lord, and ask him for guidance and help in being able to apply those things and to see truth.

Here is another quote from Elder Rasband that I love:

Having the apostles and other leaders of the church is proof that God loves us. He has given us a way to not have to figure it out on our own. And so we prayerfully turn to the Lord in recognizing that truth. We can receive his words and answers through the scriptures and through the words of the Lord's apostles who give us guidance and direction for our day.

One of the things I remember talking about on my mission is how we don't need to necessarily build a boat like Noah did in his day — that's not what the prophet teaches us to do in this day — because he is receiving guidance and revelation for us in our day. And that's the beautiful thing about having prophets: they receive guidance and direction specific to what we need to know in our day and age. In Amos 3:7 it says, "Surely the Lord God will do nothing, but he revealeth his secret unto his servants the prophets." He continues to do that today. He gives guidance and direction through a living prophet. And that is one of the ways that he shows his love for us.

And here is another quote from Elder Rasband:

And some days I feel like that best is checking all the boxes, doing all of the things. And some days my best is — I need a nap. And I'm putting in as much effort as I can and yet I am not hitting those boxes. And yet that is still my best. Sometimes we start beating ourselves up because we start focusing on that gap — comparing our hard days to our best days. But the truth is that we are doing our best even on those days.

So when those thoughts of "I don't fit, I don't belong" start to come in — when you feel like you are falling short — remember that Christ makes up that difference. This plan that our Heavenly Father has for us is a perfect plan because he knows that there are going to be weaknesses of ours. And he knows, like in Ether 12:27, "I give unto men weakness that they may be humble." And yet as we have faith in him, he makes our weaknesses become strong. So hang in there, and trust in the knowledge that you are a child of God. He loves you. He sees you. He knows what you're going through. He has provided a way for you to overcome. And while it may not be on the time schedule that you want, you will overcome as you put your faith and trust in the Lord.

Instead of looking at the doctrine of the family and seeing "I don't fit, I don't fit" — ask yourself instead, how can I apply? And focus on just one thing you can do to apply the knowledge of the gospel into your life. It's those small, consistent things that we do that make great things happen. In Alma 37, it says, "By small and simple things are great things brought to pass." You can overcome as you continue to put one step in front of another, trusting in the Lord. Let's go through those things we are being taught: faith, prayer, repentance, forgiveness, respect, love, compassion, work, and wholesome recreational activities. Choose one of those things and pray about how you can apply it into your life and into your family. And then take action — one step at a time.

And I want to just consider for a moment what would happen if we all truly understood the divine roles that we have in our lives and how we are all children of God. How would that change what we believe about ourselves? How would that change what we believe about our families, about those around us who we interact with on a day-to-day basis? How would that change the way you view any person in this world? To know and understand and recognize that they are a part of Heavenly Father's family — that they are also a child of God — as we all embrace that, there is a greater sense of community. Not just within our families, not just within the church, but within the world.

Because we recognize and understand the great love that our Heavenly Father has for each of us. And we begin to live from a place of love and not a place of comparison, not a place of feeling less than, but a place of knowing and understanding that we are all of worth. That we are all loved as we are. That we all have our strengths and our weaknesses and our differences that can actually help us to build a stronger community as we learn to recognize how each of us can bring something to the table and create a stronger connection with each other — so that we can make a greater impact on this world.

Remember that you are of worth. You are a child of God. He loves you. I know that the Family Proclamation is revelation. It helps us to better understand who we are. It's about identity — where we came from, who we are, where we're going. It's about strengthening those around us. And as we apply the teachings and principles within the Family Proclamation, we come to have a greater love and understanding of our Savior, of who we are, and of who others are as well. So let us look at this proclamation with love and with the understanding that we can apply it step by step, line upon line, precept upon precept as the Lord teaches us. And I will see you next time on the Divine Worth Podcast.