[00:00:00] Welcome to the Divine Worth Podcast, where we are letting go of our self-doubt, anxiety, fear, limiting beliefs, so that we can step into the divine roles that God has for us. I am your host life coach, Karen Pathen, and together we are embracing our divine worth and potential.
Karen Papin: Welcome to the Divine Worth Podcast. Today’s special guest is Sara Phelps. She shares the gospel through her online platform.
@iamsaraphelps, which she launched over two years ago to spread uplifting messages about the church. She resides in the Middle East with her husband and three children. Where they’ve made their home for nearly seven years. Sara and her family have also spent three years living in the uk. She holds a degree in journalism from Brigham Young University.
So Sara, welcome and thank you for being on the podcast today. Thanks for having me. I’m excited to talk today. Well, I’m excited to talk to you too, and I’m excited to talk about this topic of [00:01:00] staying true to your divine identity, even in the face of opposition. And so you are someone who consistently gets online and shares your testimony.
I wanna hear kind of the, the backstory behind that. What got you going in, in starting to do that?
Sara Phelps: Yeah. Well, it came after several years of feeling a little bit out of place, not at church, but feel like in my communities that I was in at the time, just feeling like I was alone. Very alone in my beliefs.
And my beliefs in the church have always been pretty much like what I’ve been taught since, from when I’ve been little. You know, like follow the prophet, go to the temple, keep your covenants. And there began to be a lot of people around me in my close social circles really questioning those things. You know, like, do we really need to follow the prophet?
And like, is it really that big of a deal to wear your garments and these types of things? And I came to kind of a point in my life as well where I was like. Do I still believe these things? Do I [00:02:00] believe these? And I was also seeing quite a few friends from my childhood make the decision to step away from the church.
And so all this was happening while at the same time, and you’ve probably seen this too. I just felt like on social media, I was just getting bombarded with negative information about the church. Not, and not always. This is where it’s tricky is it wasn’t always from like anti-people. It’s from people who are members and they’re like same things.
I mean, I can’t believe how many times it happened to me, and like I said, you probably experienced this and other people listening probably have experienced it as well, where it’s like you open up Instagram. There’s somebody telling their story of why they left the church, and then the next post is somebody telling why they decided to, to not wear their garments anymore or something, and the next post is someone saying something else
and this was all kind of going on, like pre and post covid that’s like the timeline. And I felt like I was just being bombarded on all sides really of people stepping away, of people really questioning their testimonies and to the point to where I was like, [00:03:00] did I miss?
Something, is it not a big deal to listen to the prophet anymore? And I also felt like I was lacking a bit in my gospel study to the point to where I was wondering, did I miss something big?
Because that’s just how many people around me were questioning and deciding to live their life differently. And so what happened is well, I first found. Account, it was Becky Squire’s account. And when I found her account, there was just something about watching her post that felt like coming home, like a spirit that I’d felt that I hadn’t felt online in like ever.
I don’t know. And I was like, oh my gosh, look, there is somebody. An actual Instagram influencer that is supportive of the church teachings. This is like, I’ve never seen anything like this before. This is crazy. And it honestly, it just like rocked my, I was like, what is going on? I’ve never seen any lines.
It was amazing. I loved it. And in the meantime, I’d also been kind of trying to figure out, I felt like there was something heaven father wanted me to [00:04:00] do and I was trying to figure out what that was. So all this was happening at the same time. And then Becky posted something about maybe you wanna share goodness online as well.
And maybe you’ve seen her post like that too. And there’s just something in me that was like, I think that I’m gonna give this a try because it really. It’s been something like, my husband comes home from work every day and I just rant to him about all these things. I’m like, maybe it would be nice for me to have an outlet so he didn’t have to listen to me all the time talking about this stuff.
And it was, it was great. I mean, when I first started my account, I was like, I have so many things to talk about. ’cause all things going on in my head for years I’ve been wanting to get this out. And so that’s the backstory and that’s really how I got started. That was a really long explanation, but that was kind of what inspired me to start the account in the first place.
Karen Papin: So how has that kind of affected your relationships, like with those friends of yours who do believe differently?
Sara Phelps: I mean, you know, I’m not gonna lie, it’s been tough in some situations. In some situations, I’ve actually had to have some, like hard conversations with [00:05:00] people that I would normally not have had.
And in some of those situations it, it’s been good because it doesn’t feel good. Anybody can, feel this way. It doesn’t feel good to really hide who you are and what you believe you know? And even if somebody doesn’t agree with you, it’s okay to have a conversation that goes something like, Hey, this is what I believe.
And now you know, because I’ve been sharing it with everybody. ’cause there’s so many people that just didn’t really know probably what I really felt about these topics. ’cause for so long I just kept my mouth shut about everything. So finally I’m speaking out and some people like don’t like that. Some people have a hard time with what I’m saying, some people, and in some situations it was like, eh.
And in other situations it was actually good because I was able to have a conversation with some close friends that don’t, they don’t go to church anymore. And kind of came to an understanding of like, look, we don’t agree on the same things, but now you know where I stand and I know where you stand, but we still can agree on other things and we [00:06:00] still value the friendship.
Like there’s no reason to end the friendship and so let’s just move forward knowing that we both don’t agree. And the sad thing is that in some cases it has strained or added a bit of tension to other relationships. But I feel like I try to be as sensitive if I can whilst also staying true to my beliefs.
And you can’t necessarily control what other people are gonna think and how they’re gonna wanna proceed with their relationship, you know? And that, that is kind of the hard thing is that, but the bottom line though, and this is the truth, that the people that I feel like were really cared about me and were really close to me, like they stick around, they stick around.
And maybe the people, that weren’t anyways. They have a hard time with what you’re saying. They might distance themselves so they might feel like they wanna confront you about it. And it’s just like, I, I think you try to handle those situations in the best spirit that you can and it is difficult. And then, you just do the best you can to be kind and Christ-like, whilst also sharing your beliefs.
And if they choose that they wanna be upset about what you’re saying and [00:07:00] then I guess it. You can’t always control what other people are going to do, if that makes sense. But the people who I feel like are your true friends and your true family, like in my experience, they have stuck around and they have been supportive even if there’s been disagreements.
Karen Papin: I like how what you’re saying is in several of the relationships, it actually helps you to feel more comfortable with them, even though it’s yes, you disagree on these specific topics, you are still able to build that connection. You’re still able to maintain that friendship as long as both people are willing and open to maintaining that relationship.
And, so I love. What you’re sharing there, because I really do believe, yeah, that we can love someone even though we disagree with them. And so totally what you’re sharing with us is it’s like, yes, I can stay true to who I am and what I believe, and I can still love other people.
Sara Phelps: Oh, totally.
Yeah. It’s always been for me, I’ve always been like, I’m pretty much cool with everybody. But the question is, is like, are they okay with [00:08:00] me? That’s the bigger, you know, like I feel like in my experience, that’s the bigger, the bigger question is like, Hey, look, if you know, if you think differently, whatever, I will share what I believe here and I won’t think badly of you and I’m not gonna come attack you.
And it’s, I think most members of the church feel that way. You know, like they don’t feel the need to go attack anybody, but they do have their beliefs and. They don’t wanna be attacked by their beliefs anymore than anybody else does. And that’s kind of been my big experience is like, I’ve never really gone outta my way to attack anybody, but, or disagree with it, be like angry at somebody. But, I have been the recipient of that. I’ve been the recipient of being confronted for the things that I share online. And it’s just like, I don’t know, you know, I think you just, in those situations, you just. It’s difficult, but you just do your best to be like, okay, I’m trying to, to be Christlike and also remind myself that even Jesus Christ wasn’t without confrontation.
And people confronted him. People didn’t like what he was saying, that there was, even, his life wasn’t without conflict in these ways. [00:09:00] So just because people pushed back on what you’re saying, and this is something I’ve had to learn, is just because people push back or they don’t like it, doesn’t mean you’re necessarily doing something wrong.
And that can be hard. It can be hard to kind of assure yourself that like, I’m not really doing anything wrong, it’s just that they don’t like what I’m saying.
Karen Papin: So I’m curious from those first few times that you started posting to where you are now, has the process for you handling that pushback, has it changed at all?
I.
Sara Phelps: Like with people that didn’t know who were sending messages. I definitely think that I, it’s difficult ’cause I feel like in the beginning I was a bit more defensive, you know, and I’ve had to learn over time though I’m still not, like, I learned it’s like a two steps forward, one step back type of thing.
I’ve had to learn over time that, trying to be as kind as possible even, or just ignoring like comments from people who are just trying to start a fight with you. [00:10:00] Either trying to be just kind and send a kind reply or just ignoring altogether is really the best thing to do. Even though I haven’t always done that, like I feel in the beginning, I, I decided, I was like, oh, I’m gonna respond to every comment, and that has changed, you know?
’cause then I, I realized like some people, in fact, a lot of people who comment or send messages like aren’t really looking to genuinely engage with you. They just want to. Try to shake your faith in you. They wanna make you go, oh no. Like I know I’m questioning everything because of the something that you told me.
That’s kind of their goal in my experience. And again, this is speaking to people that like, I don’t really know, just kind of online. I don’t wanna call ’em trolls. Some of ’em are trolls. Some of ’em are just people that are angry and they, you know, they wanna send a, a dm and yeah.
And from the beginning I felt like I felt some sort of responsibility to answer those. And as time has gone on, I’ve realized like I don’t really have to answer every DM or comment that comes, especially if I get the feeling that they don’t really wanna engage respectfully. And if I do feel the need to answer, one thing I told my husband the other [00:11:00] day was like, anytime I get a dm, I’m just gonna try to assume the best intentions of the person.
Because one thing that’s difficult to share in the Goth online is you get used to being attacked. So sometimes I’ll get a message and immediately I’ll just be like, even though I haven’t even read the message yet, and then I realize that’s a really nice message and sometimes I don’t understand what someone’s quite trying to say.
And I wonder, are they being snarky? Are they being sarcastic? Like, what are, what are they trying to say right now? And, it would influence how we would respond to them. And sometimes I would send like a short response. And then realize after the fact that they were sending like a genuine message.
And I thought, oh, shoot. You know, and so I just, I’ve learned, you know, that it’s best to just give people the benefit of the doubt. Assume they’re being genuine and kind. if you feel right away that they’re not, then I don’t usually respond. And if I feel like there might be some, a genuine message, then I just assume the best.
Of that person. And I’m still learning to do that. That’s still a process, but that is kind of, it’s helped me. I’m [00:12:00] like, if I just kind of assume the best intentions and then I’m not gonna respond. If things start to get, if things start to escalate, then you can just end the conversation. And it’s hard ’cause it takes a little bit of self-control on your part to just be step back and be like, okay, I’m not gonna respond.
But that is something that I’m working toward and that is what I would say to anybody else starting out is you don’t have to respond to everything. especially if someone seems hostile initially. But also try to like, assume good intentions and not get too defensive right off the bat, because that’s something that I have struggled with.
So,
Karen Papin: yeah. That’s great. And there’s a couple of things. That I like about that one. One is like, I served a mission on Temple Square in Salt Lake City, Utah. And there would be like groups of people coming to Temple Square just to talk to us and try to convince us that we were wrong. And sometimes when you’re in a situation like that, like all you can do is bear your testimony and walk away.
Yeah. Because they’re not there [00:13:00] to listen to you. So it’s just like. That’s all you can do and, yeah, exactly. Yeah. And the other thing that I like about what you’re sharing is giving them the benefit of the doubt. And that brought to mind an experience from when I was in grad school, the teacher was talking about this man who had done some really horrific things and
in response, one of my classmates said, wow, he must really be hurting. Mm-hmm. And that has always stuck with me. Yeah. And so when you’re talking about giving people the benefit of the doubt and just, or, you know, imagining that they have good intentions. Mm-hmm. And focusing in on that, it’s like, because there, there’s a lot of pain and struggle on the other side, right?
Mm-hmm. Of those people who are coming and opposing us, it’s, there’s, there is some pain there and so just having that love and that compassion for them. [00:14:00]
Sara Phelps: Totally. Yeah. And it’s hard too, ’cause you feel like, you know, it’s difficult to be the person when someone feels like they’re coming to insult you in some way, it’s difficult to step back.
And in that moment it can feel really heated and you know, and you wanna get in there and you wanna defend yourself. It’s difficult and I’ve learned this, it’s like something you have to practice almost. And so you probably got really good practice on your mission. And I feel like I’m learning this now.
I didn’t serve remission. This is like all new to me. I’m like, oh my gosh. But learning to step back and think, okay, in some situations, in a lot of situations, it’s not even personal. They’re just, like you said, they’re hurting. There’s something going on and they wanna lash out for some reason. And maybe it has nothing to do with you and even what you said or did, but they just wanna lash out for some reason.
And so yeah, like that mindset, it really helps me get out of like any sort of negative. Head that I and I think it helps you rise above, negative messages you see, and it takes the, it kind of dissipates the anger that you might be feeling initially when you start to think, okay, [00:15:00] okay, this person, I’m gonna give ’em the benefit of the doubt.
Either they’re genuine or they’re just hurting or something, and I’m gonna try not to respond with the same amount of anger that, that they were, are showing initially. ’cause sometimes I have had people message before that seem so angry and I responded back a little bit like what? And then as time as we were conversing back and forth, I realized they really were just hurting.
And I wished, you know, and that was kind of my lesson, like I wish I would’ve responded more compassionately initially right out the gate, because they for sure lashed out because they were hurting. And that’s not something that I didn’t realize in that specific situation that I’ve had to remind myself of that over and over again as I’m talking to people that just like, you don’t really know what someone is going through and what’s causing them to wanna lash out in the way that they are.
So, yeah.
Karen Papin: So when you are feeling okay, actually, I wanna go back to the beginning. Sure. Yeah. when you first started sharing mm-hmm. Did you ever experience like self-doubt and fear or [00:16:00] like, why am I posting this?
Sara Phelps: Oh, yeah, totally. All the time. I still do and I think I just have to pull myself out of, the negative feelings that I’m feeling, I just have to sometimes pull myself out of it and just get on with posting, because I often feel self-doubt and like, why am I sharing this? Why am I putting myself out there like this? This is, this is crazy. And I had one experience too in the beginning when I first started sharing, and I had started posting on TikTok a bit, which I don’t do anymore.
But I did start doing that and I didn’t know how TikTok worked. And then all of a sudden, like I just was getting bombarded with all this. Hate and people were doing the duet video with the things I posted. I couldn’t even, I had just started, I like couldn’t even watch it. I was like, oh my gosh, there’s people, they’re taking my video and then they’re giving a response to it.
It just felt so like scary and I felt so much self doubt and doubt in myself and doubt in everything. I was just like, what am I even doing here? This is crazy. And I just thought to myself, I’m not. [00:17:00] I’m not equipped to do this. Maybe other people are, but I’m not. And I took a break from posting, this is in the very beginning, like for a week.
I just was like, I don’t know if I can do this. And then I got a DM from somebody randomly and they were like, you, have you ever read the Talk Stand Forever by Lawrence Corbridge? ’cause it’s a really good talk. I don’t know why they sent me this talk, but I had heard of it, but I had never read it. And then so I just decided to read it and it was just everything that I needed to hear and somehow restored.
That confidence, in me that, no, I can’t do this, I can’t do this. And that you, so I think for anybody sharing the gospel online, I feel like you have to read that Talk Stand Forever by Lawrence Corbridge. You have to read it, you have to read it multiple times because it will help you so much.
It’s just all about, people who are anti towards the church and the things that they say. And it’s just so good when you are getting up online and you’re sharing your testimony and you know you are gonna be criticized by so many people, it makes [00:18:00] it easier to bear.
And I remind myself often of that talk, and it’s giving me a lot of confidence in myself. But yeah, and I would like to say that the doubt goes away, but like, not totally. I think it’s just something that gets better over time and you deal with, and you have to push yourself, you know, push yourself a bit to.
It’s been something I have continually have to push myself to make a post or make a reel. I’m like, okay, now I’m gonna do it. And even if I don’t feel confident in myself, but the more you post, I think the more you do feel that your confidence increases and the doubt in yourself. It does. It does get better.
I think the confidence increases and the doubt in yourself decreases kind of, you, you still might feel some doubt sometimes, but it, the more you do it, I think the more you see how many people also feel like you do. And that has really helped me in the process as well. I love
Karen Papin: that. So you talked about that talk and what was the name of it again?
Mm-hmm. Stand forever. [00:19:00] Stand forever. Okay. So the talk stand forever you talked about. Mm-hmm. Giving. Trying to see the other person side, kind of giving them the benefit of the doubt. Yeah. What are some other things that help you to be able to like really remember who you are and why you it is that you’re doing this even amidst all that opposition and whether it’s opposition with online or with your friends who also mm-hmm. See differently.
Sara Phelps: Yeah, I think so.
Something for me that’s been really grounding is my patriarchal blessing and I need to read it again. I haven’t read it in a while, and if anyone listening should read theirs too. It is so good at telling you I think, who you are as God sees you. ’cause I think we often, myself, very much, myself included, kind of fall into these false identity traps and we start labeling ourselves.
In certain ways, and some of the labels that I had attached to myself was like, oh, I’m kind of like [00:20:00] shy. I am kind of reserved. I’m never gonna do anything important in my life. I just talk about you like everybody. I got married, I have kids, I’m just gonna be a mom. That’s all I meant to do ever. And not that being a mom isn’t important ’cause it definitely is.
But that was just how I felt about myself. This was like my, I’m just gonna be a mom. I’m too shy and I’m too like unskilled. That’s how I felt. Like I felt like I wasn’t really good at enough at anything to do anything important. So this is just who I am and I really felt that about myself.
But the thing is that when I read my patriarchal blessing, I felt like it was describing somebody else. I was like, that’s weird ’cause I feel that I’m this way. But my patri blessing tells me that I’m this way. I can’t see how I am ever gonna be able to be like this. And that was part of the journey that led me to sharing online was trying to figure out how to become this person that somehow I felt like I was reading about in my patri blessing that I didn’t feel that I was at all.[00:21:00]
And I feel like what I had done was, it’s not that I was none of those things. I think I had just attached myself to some labels like. Stay-at-home mom who’s shy and never will do anything important with her life. Like that was and that sounds really sad. That was just like how I thought that I was.
And when you in, you ingrain some labels. So deep into your mind, it can be really hard to break out of those and think, no, actually I think that I am somebody different. And what can give you confidence in that is when you read your blessing and you read what Heavenly Father thinks about you.
And most importantly, some of the first things that says in your pat blessing is that you are a blood son or daughter of God. And that’s a label that a lot of people are forgetting now. And just to remind yourself that you are a beloved center daughter of God. And oftentimes I think it will say in al blessings, at least in mine, some sort of responsibility to share the gospel.
I think a lot of us members right now feel in some way [00:22:00] a responsibility to share the gospel, whether it was from serving a mission or maybe you wanna share online, or you have a blog or you share with friends. I think Latter Day Saints, we do have a responsibility to share and I feel very strongly that I have a responsibility to share, and I’m reminded of that in my patriarchal blessing.
And so it’s been, that has been probably the number one thing for me. And then the second thing I would say to that question is, remembering your divine identity and who you are and why my purpose in sharing is just really trying to ground yourself in the truth, because. You’ll find like what they’re saying on social media and what they say at general conference are like very different.
And what do you wanna believe? You know, where are you finding your truth? The truth and the sad thing is that a lot of people are finding their truth over here on social media, and they’re doing the opposite of what they should be doing, which is they’re comparing what the prophet says to the truth from the world and the truth on social media and the truths [00:23:00] from whatever.
And they’re seeing how general conference stacks up against what they already know, where it should really be the opposite. You know we’re learning in general conference, we’re learning at church, we’re learning from the scriptures, and that is the truth and everything else should, we should be comparing to that, to ground ourselves, to center ourselves and what’s really most important, what’s the truth?
And because I feel so strongly about that I have such a strong desire to share because I don’t feel like enough people know this. And I know sometimes what motivates me is I’m like, what did I need to hear five years ago? What would’ve really, and that is what I post. I like post for myself like five years ago, and that helps me.
And I know if I felt that way, there’s other people that that feel the same. And so the two biggest things, patriarchal blessing, I think. And then grounding yourself. Completely ground yourself in the truth from the prophets and apostles and from the scriptures. And that’s where you find, that’s where you can find the most truth in the [00:24:00] answers to so many questions.
So yes,
Karen Papin: those are great. Those are so good. one thing that I like to do when I am like feeling that fear and that self-doubt and is to just. Imagine like, a breeze blowing away all the labels and all the judgments and all those things, and just let them go. And, and then if one sticks, it’s like, help me, father, help me to release this, right?
Yes. But then we can, once we do that, then it’s like, okay, now we can connect with our Heavenly father, and we can say, okay, what is it that. I believe about myself. What is it that heavenly father believes about me? And then, and you get to decide from there, am I gonna believe what Heavenly father believes?
Or am I gonna believe these past labels and things that I put on myself?
Sara Phelps: Yeah, exactly. It’s so true.
Karen Papin: Have you ever felt. [00:25:00] Pressure to like, take down a video or to soften or change what it is that you’re saying? And how did you navigate that?
Sara Phelps: Yeah. There have been times I took down a video only when I felt like actually it wasn’t hitting the way that I thought it was gonna hit.
Not only happened like once or twice. Other times I have, and it’s particularly with. Topic that people don’t like to, to hear about, you know, and you like you family proclamation or gender or something like that. And people get really angry if you dare speak about those topics. I also posted a video once that was like, what was it?
It was about getting afraid or stressed out during general conference and how you shouldn’t feel that way. And I think that made some people mad too. Sometimes what I do, again, as I just like, I go back and I read some of these talks that inspired me to make the post in the first place.
Because most of my posts are inspired by something that I read in a general conference talk or something that I read in the scriptures, you know, not just [00:26:00] like pulling stuff out of nowhere. And obviously I make it my own, and I try to communicate a certain message, but some, a lot of it’s inspired by things I’ve read.
And I go back and sometimes I, I remind myself, wait, wait, wait. Again, you’ve gotta ground yourself in the truth. You know I run, wait, what’s the truth? What’s the truth? And if this is the truth, then I should be able to share it. I should share it if it is the truth in the nicest way that I can possibly, and I don’t have to be afraid of what people say because I know it’s the truth.
And thankfully there’s a lot of people that are willing to, comment and show their support and like the posts, you know, and so, and I kind of hold onto that too, that there’s a lot of people that are happy about. You being vocal about these things, that it’s really helping them and it helps me too.
I got this advice from somebody. They said when you first start out sharing, I should do this a bit better, but save all of the kind messages that you get from people ’cause you’ll really need them. And I do go back and read some messages that I got. It’s gotten a lot, way more than the hateful messages.
I’ve [00:27:00] gotten a lot of messages of people saying. Wow. Thank you so much for sharing what you’re sharing or it’s really strengthening me that kind of stuff really helps remind you. So you sometimes have to remove yourself a little bit from the negative comments and what people are saying and remind yourself what is really true here and what’s true is that the thing I shared in the this real like is the truth.
And the second thing is that like a lot of people agree, and a lot of people are really grateful. You’re willing to speak out and share these types of things. And so that, that’s kind of the thing, that helps me in those situations. So it is difficult. It’s tough, you know, and that’s what I was afraid of.
And I think that’s what a lot of people are afraid of when they start, is how am I gonna handle pushback from other people? And it’s hard. I mean, there, there are things you can do on Instagram, like you can make it so only your followers are able to comment and you can, some people are able to like.
They use certain keywords to filter out, the most offensive comments. So there, there are things you can do, but it doesn’t [00:28:00] get ’em out all the way. You still are gonna have to deal with angry messages or comments that sneak in and it’s tough. But I feel like just centering myself in what’s true has been so helpful for me in that regard.
Karen Papin: I love that you turn to the general conference docs, you turn to the scriptures, and the other thing that I really liked that you suggested was the, like focusing in on those positive messages that you’re getting, the supportive messages. There’s a book called The Gap in the Gain by, Dan Sullivan and Dr.
Benjamin Hardy. And it talks about this concept that so many of us. Measure ourselves against the ideal, and we just see how far we are from reaching that, that we don’t look back at how far we’ve come. And I think that really applies to what you were just saying, is yes, you can focus in over here on what I would call the gap, where you’re mm-hmm.
You’re getting all of this negative feedback and [00:29:00] opposition, or you can focus it on, in, on a gain. And all of these people who are being strengthened from what you are saying.
Sara Phelps: Totally. Exactly. Yeah. That’s, and that has been really helpful, especially in those situations. Like when I have had like a family member confront me about what I was being in person about what I was sharing, and I was like, and all I could do was, and I think I did do this, especially after that conversation, was I did go back and read some of the kind messages and I reminded myself that no, people do appreciate hearing gospel truths and messages shared that aren’t tainted by what.
You know is socially acceptable and politically correct. there is a lot of people out there I think, that are wanting that and they wanna feel support, and they wanna feel less alone. And that has been a big one for me, is realizing how many people messaging me and said, you’ve made me feel less alone in my beliefs.
And that means a lot to me, and that really helps. And even if you have to remind yourself like over and over and over again. To feel like you’re making a [00:30:00] difference to some people is so huge. I think so.
Karen Papin: Yeah. So since general conference is coming up soon , I would like to hear what advice you have for preparing ourselves to be able to be in a place where we are ready to receive the words of the Lord through the prophet and other general authorities. Totally.
Sara Phelps: I feel like something that I’ve heard other people say that I tried a few things is to, well, I think first of all it’s really nice to like be off social media a little bit.
Now, it’s difficult when you like share online like I do. I’m like, like I might be on social media, but if you are in a position to be off social media. The days prior to, and especially after general conference, I think that could really help because this is secondary to the preparation you would do beforehand, but it allows you to really drink [00:31:00] in the talks you heard without being worried about being influenced by what other people think about those talks.
And you just listen to what, and you write what you think has, are the messages that the Lord wants to get across to you, and you don’t have to worry about what other people say. So that’s one thing, but prior to that, I would say to prepare, you could also get off social media. You should just take a break.
I find fasting about what certain questions that you have, and one thing I really like to do is just to write out those, maybe pick like a few things that I’m really focused on that I really want answers for and pray about those. And I pray to be open to what kind of messages the Lord wants me to hear.
And then because I think that’s on my mind, you know, I’m, I feel a lot more prepared to listen to those messages in general conference and to really, look for, how are my prayers being answered and what talks are speaking to me and. And then again, so [00:32:00] you know, praying, writing down what kind of questions you have, praying about what the Lord wants you to hear.
Maybe getting off social media for a week before general conference, but definitely stay off social media after general conference. That’s what I say, like you don’t have to get off if you don’t want to, but I would say, and I may do this myself, take a break the day after or the day of general conference so that you’re not bombarded.
For me, it’s, especially on Facebook, like Instagram, I’ve been able to tailor the accounts. I followed mostly faith affirming accounts, but on Facebook it’s mostly just like family and friends and they will be very vocal about the talks that they do not like. And sometimes you just not that you wanna never engage with those people or shut those people out of your life, but it’s not helpful.
When you’re trying to absorb all that help, you wanted to hear from Heavenly Father and from the conference talk. So it can be really helpful, I think, to just distance yourself from social media, so that you have time, to really take in the [00:33:00] messages. And so yeah, I think that’s one thing I will do, especially Facebook.
Like I will be off that though.
Karen Papin: Yeah. Yeah. Well, what I like about that is, is it’s. You’re trying to focus on the personal revelation that you’re receiving.
Sara Phelps: Mm-hmm.
Karen Papin: And, and so not being swayed by everyone else, just focusing in on, okay. What is it that the Lord wants me to hear? Exactly. Yeah. Can you share a time when standing firm in your faith brought unexpected blessings? Hmm.
Sara Phelps: Yes. I feel like throughout this whole time of sharing online. I feel like I’ve seen the Lord strengthen me so many times, and if I hadn’t been willing to do these things, if I hadn’t been willing to be firm, I wouldn’t have had these experiences where, and it sounds silly, but even something like getting the, getting an idea.
That I feel like didn’t come from me, [00:34:00] but that was inspiration. I feel like it’s happened so many times or feeling like I just don’t have the energy to post anything. And then just getting a jolt of energy from nowhere and the, you know, amount of times I felt like the Lord is helping me throughout this whole experience has been a huge blessing for me to really see like, he is really.
Helping me and in this situation and the experiences that I’ve had and the people I’ve been able to connect with has been so amazing. And one really unexpected blessing, I think, is that those connections I’ve been able to make that I didn’t have, almost like, I know it’s online, but it’s like an online community.
Of people who support you that you, you didn’t have before. And I definitely didn’t have before. Like I, I always say like my, I had my family, like my immediate family and my husband and my kids and my parents and siblings and stuff. But outside of that, like any other extended family, anybody, friends, whatever, I didn’t have a whole lot of support.
In terms of the gospel. I felt very alone. And one of the [00:35:00] biggest blessings has been finding other people that. Think like you and believe like you do. And it really strengthens me too. it can, I think it’s tough to feel like you’re alone when you are living the gospel and it’s hard. And I think that’s unfortunately the thing, that’s why some people end up leaving is because they just feel like maybe it’s time, maybe all my friends and family are left, are have left, so maybe I should too.
And finding this online community has been so just amazing, it has strengthened me so much. And I feel like I’ve always wanted something like that. I’ve always wanted friends that I felt like were, you know, strengthening me spiritually. And, and I do have, I do have some now for sure.
But when I first started I didn’t feel like I did. And so that has been a huge blessing to me. No, there’s other people out there that I respect that think you know about the gospel in the same way I, as I do, that wanna, you know, stay true to the covenant that wanna follow the prophet that. I also think that some of the stuff going on in the world right now is crazy, like what is going on?
[00:36:00] And that’s been huge. So I think from from being bold, it’s been unacceptable. Blessings have been seeing the Lord’s hand in my life countless times that I wouldn’t have had those experiences otherwise. And two, just that, you know, sense of community and meeting other people and seeing. That’s the beauty of social media.
There’s so many negatives to social media, but there can be a lot of positives. And I think it’s connecting us with other people that we wouldn’t be meeting otherwise helps you feel so much less alone and that there are people out there like you, and even if you don’t live close to each other, you can still form this community of believers.
And I feel like a lot of people do that with their platforms, that they create these communities and I enjoy. Being a part of other creators communities and contributing and seeing what they’re posting. And I enjoy posting on mine. And it’s just, it’s been a huge, that has been a huge blessing for sure.
Karen Papin: I love that. that’s been a huge blessing for me too. I love just being able to Yes. Get to like. Having [00:37:00] this conversation with you Yes. Is so awesome. So, I totally understand that and, yeah. And thank you again.
Sara Phelps: Yes, of course. Yeah. It’s great. Yeah. And all these conversations would not have been possible.
If both of us didn’t decide, Hey, let’s start sharing on Instagram a little bit, and it, so that has been the, like, I haven’t done that many podcasts, but like I’ve done a handful and it’s always just been like, wow, I would’ve never done this. I would’ve never had these conversations, if not for sharing online.
And so it’s been, it’s been pretty cool.
Karen Papin: Well, this next question kind of goes along with this in what would you say to someone who feels alone in their beliefs and is struggling?
Sara Phelps: I think I would say that first of all, you are not alone at all, and it’s, so helpful to reach out and find other people that are also wanting to live the gospel and they wanna live it the way that the Lord wants us to live it [00:38:00] and the way the prophet wants us to live, it is so helpful. And the other thing I would just say, and again, this is tough and I feel like I’ve said this already, but is to just look at the scriptures and look to general conference talks for the answers to your questions and feel confident in that I, there’s a certain.
I dunno how to describe it, but there’s a certain like confidence that you have to have in yourself and in the gospel and knowing that, when I read these things in the scriptures and when I read these things in general conference, like I am just gonna be confident in that. And I actually feel like the interesting thing is that the more you read your scriptures, the more you read general conference, the more you do these things, you naturally gain.
More confidence in yourself and in your beliefs. I’ve seen that happen to me that I’m like, it’s funny because you would think in my situation, sharing online or whatever and being bombarded with messages, being confronted by people, [00:39:00] whatever, that it would shake my faith. And the funny thing is that I actually feel like it’s just been become stronger.
Because I’ve been studying the gospel more, I’ve been thinking about the gospel more. I’ve been doing a lot more than I used to be doing. And when you do a lot more, I think the Lord strengthens you more. And so I would say find, try to surround yourself in some way. If you’re isolated, then, then social media can be a great tool.
Try to surround yourself in some way with those people that are believing like you, and so you can see you’re not alone. And then surround yourself. With the truth, and the more you do that, the more confidence you will have in those beliefs. I think the Lord will give you confidence. I have felt that so many times in my life that I’m like, I felt really insecure when I first started sharing, but I feel much more confident now and I feel like it’s what it’s been.
Another one of those unexpected blessings is from the Lord is just this sort of like just confidence. And what I’m doing, what I’m sharing even to where [00:40:00] people can’t really shake me anymore. And I’m like, feel like whatever anyone’s ever said to me online, like I’ve heard it a thousand times at this point.
So I’m like, I know. I just feel like people can’t, I’m not afraid anymore, but I wasn’t always that way. And I think it just comes from continually turning to the, and deciding like, I’m gonna get my information from the right sources. And the more you do that, I think the more. Confident and assured you’ll feel and what you believe.
Karen Papin: Oh, I, I love that. And I love that because it’s like you had that fear. It wasn’t that you felt confident going into it and doing it. The confidence was the result. It’s something that came Yes. After. and so I, I love that. So thank you. Thank you for sharing that. I think that’s, yeah, totally.
Yeah, I
Sara Phelps: think a lot of people are afraid to start because they’re like, I’m a, I’m not confident in this, in myself. And I totally felt that way too. But yeah, the irony of it is that it’s like you actually will get the confidence the more you do. The more you [00:41:00] work, the more you decide to put yourself out there.
If you wanna share online, the more you decide to read and to really like. Immerse yourself. I used to think to myself like, I just I’m seeing all these people turn away from the gospel or deciding to kind of live this one foot in one foot out. And what if I did the opposite? What if I decided that I’m going to jump completely in and completely commit myself?
Like what would happen? And what I found was that’s where the confidence came from. This confidence, this unshakeable faith that you want is, it comes, I think, from not living one foot in one foot out or not distancing yourself. It comes from really just jumping in completely and doing your best imperfectly, of course, doing your best to live exactly as the Lord wants you to live.
And that’s where the confidence and the blessings come
Karen Papin: right. I have [00:42:00] just a couple more questions. So the next one is, what scripture or spiritual insight has given you the most strength in staying true to your divine identity?
Sara Phelps: Okay. That’s a good question. I think, well, my favorite scripture for some reason, I always forget the reference.
I’m like, I know the scripture, but I’m pretty sure it’s in, two Timothy one seven. But I’ll have to make sure God has not given us the spirit of fear, but of power and of love, and of the sound mind. That is my favorite scripture because as we were talking about false identities earlier, and one of those other false identities that I have attached myself to is like someone who’s so anxious all the time and just scared of everything.
Which I can be like that sometimes. Reading that scripture has reminded me that the any sort of feelings of self-doubt or fear that you feel they’re not from the Lord. They are either your own mind, from Satan, and the Lord wants you to feel. [00:43:00] When he speaks to you, it’s going to be, you’re gonna feel confident, you’re gonna feel power, love a soundbite, all those things.
And it’s hard because I feel like we forget that sometimes or, we get wrapped up in our fears and anxieties and they can be all consuming sometimes, to the point of even feeling paralyzed to do anything. And I certainly, when I was first starting this account, I made it and I sat on it for like three weeks because I was too afraid to do anything with it.
And I just kept on having these feelings of fear and self doubt. And then I was reminded of this scripture and also. Other feelings I’d had that were not anxiousness, but confidence that the Lord wanted me to share online. That’s how I felt and that I, it’s something that I could do. And so it, it reminds me, how does the Lord really speak to me?
And it reminds me to forget about my anxieties and fears and insecurities and remember how he wants me to feel. And what are those moments where he’s been speaking to you [00:44:00] and remember those moments? I think we all have moments where we know. Without a doubt, the Lord was speaking to me at this time.
And remember those moments, remember what that felt like because usually you will feel peace, clarity, our love, all those things. And so that scripture has been huge for me and just reminding myself like, is this thought or insecurity or fear? Just me, you know? And how I think about myself, is it Satan?
Is it whatnot or is it from the Lord? And usually if it’s a fear or insecurity or anxiety, it’s not from the Lord. ’cause I know the Lord wants me to feel this way. Instead he wants me to feel confident and he wants me to share and he wants something I feel very strongly about is like the Lord created you to do amazing things and he didn’t create you to just sit there and hide.
And that’s what I was doing for most of my life. So he didn’t just create you to sit there and hide. Satan wants you to hide and Satan wants you to feel like you’ll never do anything important with your life. He wants [00:45:00] you to feel like you’ll, you have nothing of value to add, and that’s just not true, and that’s not how the Lord wants you to feel.
I think the Lord feels like he sent you to earth now to do something amazing and he didn’t just create you to be quiet and. Hide, that’s been huge for me. And I feel like that’s a message I would wanna share with everybody that’s feeling this way because I have felt that way.
Like you are meant to do amazing things and the Lord will tell you what he wants you to do. If you really ask him and seek that out in prayer. He’ll tell you what do you want you to do? And any feelings of doubt or fear and security, like those are not from him, that’s for sure. Those are not from him because that’s not his spirit is love and power and a sound mind.
Those, that’s how the Lord speaks to you. So, yeah,
Karen Papin: so good. Love it. It’s like for me, I started believing myself because God first believed in me.
Sara Phelps: Yeah. And
Karen Papin: as we embrace [00:46:00] his view of who we are, it’s like,
wow. It’s limitless possibilities. Totally.
Sara Phelps: Totally. Yep. Exactly. It’s just like what I said with my patriarchal blessing earlier.
It’s like, I feel like I have the confidence to do what I’m doing. ’cause I felt like the Lord did. Confidence in me, you know? And that helped me have confidence. So, totally not that
Karen Papin: well, Sara, what is one small and simple thing that those listening can do today to kind of take away what we’ve been talking about today?
Sara Phelps: I think, lemme think one small and simple thing. Okay. Well I think what I would say. It’s just to read your paycheck of blessing if you have one. And remember who you really are. Remember president Nelson talked about the identity we should be most focused on. And remember those I always, if it’s a son or daughter of God, [00:47:00] child of the covenants
disciple of Christ. Those are your most important identities. And then read your patriarchal blood thing. And if you don’t have one yet. Then get one if you’re old enough. But you can also ask the Lord like, how do you feel about me? What? What do you think about me?
Who you know? And he will show you. He will tell you who you are. And remember, he knows you better than anybody. He knows you better than anybody else. He is the one who created you, and he is known you even before you came to Earth. And so if anybody’s equipped to tell you who you are, it’s him. It’s not.
The online personality quiz or whatever, or the other influencers telling you that maybe your X, Y, Z or that you know, he knows you better than anybody and you can figure out how he really views you, I think by asking him, by reading your scriptures and by looking at your paycheck blessing.
And so the small and simple thing I would say is reach your patriarchal blessing and look for what he says about you. Specifically [00:48:00] who you are and what you can do and what your mission is. And if you don’t have a patriarchal blessing, then either get one soon or ask the Lord also to show you how he really feels about you.
And He will ’cause I, he wants you to feel his love and he wants you to know who you really are. And I think it’s just a T of the adversary to try and convince you. That you are these other things ’cause it makes you not really live up to your true potential of who you actually are.
And the more the adversary can convince you that you are just meant to do nothing with your life, then the better because then you’ll do nothing ’cause you feel like you’re not good enough or you’re not smart enough or pretty enough or whatever. And that’s great for him if you just sit there and do nothing.
The Lord will show you who really, who you really are. and yeah, so after this episode, go read your arch of blessing. Dig it out, and look for what the Lord says about [00:49:00] you. And that is what you know. That’s what you should anchor yourself to. Not anything else, not even how you feel inside about yourself.
Anchor yourself to what the Lord has told you about who you are.
Karen Papin: It’s like the Lord tells us to let our light shine. Mm-hmm. Not hide it under a bushel. Right. It’s, we’re not meant to hide. So I love that advice, and I think also that is good advice. Even when you, if you are someone who is struggling with. Different doctrines of the church. It’s like just mm-hmm.
Focus in on, okay, what does God say about you? Who are you?
Sara Phelps: Yes.
Karen Papin: And, and that can be exactly what you need in that moment, so. Exactly. Totally not that. Well, Sara, this has been a really great conversation. The time just flew by. No, thank you so much for coming on here and being willing to share your story and your thoughts with [00:50:00] us today.
Yeah, no problem. Thank you so much for having me.
Karen Papin:
To learn more about your divine worth and potential, you can download some free scripture cards focused on your worth at https://karenpapin.com/scripturecards. You are of worth. You have a purpose. The Lord loves you and he believes in you and only you can make the impact on this world that you are meant to make.
Join me next time as we talk more about divine worth and potential.
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