Karen Papin: [00:00:00] Welcome to the Divine Worth Podcast, where we are letting go of our self-doubt, anxiety, fear, limiting beliefs, so that we can step into the divine roles that God has for us. I am your host life coach, Karen Papin, and together we are embracing our divine worth and potential.
Welcome to the Divine Worth Podcast.
Our guest today is Markell Horner. She is a wife, mom of three girls, and the founder of Simply Stressless. As a certified professional organizer and life coach, she empowers women to reclaim their homes and their peace of mind through her signature four step process, prioritize, minimize, organize, normalize, blending, certifications from.
Uh, NAPO N-A-P-O
Markell Horner: Yeah, NAPO The National Association of Productivity and Organizing. It’s the longest association ever.
Karen Papin: So blending certifications from NAP O and [00:01:00] the John Maxwell team, Markell helps women cut through the clutter physically and mentally to create spaces that support the life they truly want.
She specializes in helping women move from overwhelm to clarity, guiding them toward intentional living and sustainable systems that actually work for their seasons of life with a passion for minimalism and purpose-driven living. Markell believes that an organized home isn’t just about tidy drawers.
It’s about creating a space that breathes, serves, connects, and uplifts. That is so awesome. So Markell, thank you so much for coming on the podcast today. Sure. Thanks for letting me be here. Well, I’m excited to talk to you today. We’re talking about Intentional Living, and to begin in talking about that, I would love to hear like how you define intentional living and how it differs from striving for organized perfection.
Markell Horner: Yeah, so for me, in my life, I feel like [00:02:00] intentional living is when I am purposefully making choices and constructing my life in a way that is meaningful and purposeful for me. So it’s really taking those pieces of me that I really want to design my life around and putting those things at the forefront and making sure that I’m living my life according to those things rather than just kind of letting life happen to me.
Karen Papin: I like that perspective. And, how do you. How do you determine, like, what that looks like for you?
Markell Horner: Yeah, I think it’s a lot of trial and error, right? I think it’s those moments when our lives feel out of control and something feel feels off kilter. And then you start to really ask, what is important to me?
What do I wanna make time for? What fills my soul? What makes me happy or makes me laugh, right? And so it doesn’t always have to be some big, grandiose thing, or, like for me, I really enjoy walking and exercising and I love playing [00:03:00] soccer. And so when my plate feels so full that I don’t have time to fit those, some of those things in for myself, I do a reevaluation and figure out, you know, being active is really important for me.
So how do I fit this in? And what can go so that I can fit that thing in that’s important to me, that makes me feel good, or makes my life run smoother, or, makes me feel connected.
Karen Papin: That’s great. One of the things that words that really stood out to me as you were talking about is when you feel off kilter, and that to me, just kinda so often in life, we want a more balanced life, right?
We want everything to, we are, we’re looking for that balance, and we tend to think it’s like a, everything needs to be exactly like the same. Like, I need to put this much time towards family and this much time towards work or this time, much time towards church. And really it’s [00:04:00] actually more about a feeling.
And so just hearing you describe that just now, it’s like, oh, check in with yourself and see how are you feeling and are you feeling off kilter?
Markell Horner: Yeah. Yeah. There’s a, I heard it once said that. Balance is a myth, right? That we can never be fully balanced, but there can be harmony. So the way that I’ve heard it explained is that you should seek more for harmony than for balance because balance is a myth.
And like you said, if we had the same amount of time given to everything, it might not be the best thing. Right? So if you think about, I mean I’m not a music person, but it made sense when somebody explained it to me that if you had the same amount of like drums and flute and whatever instruments, and they were all given the same amount of time the music wouldn’t be beautiful. Right. But it’s just like those few touches at the point that they need it in music. It’s just kind of like, there are different times in your life [00:05:00] where some parts of your life require more of your attention and you shouldn’t feel badly about that.
And so, I think balance, I think that idea of, oh, my life needs to be balanced, can sometimes be damaging. But if we can find a harmony, if we can find where everything is playing well together, and blending together. And if something feels like it’s not. Working, then being able to reevaluate that and to not consider that as a failure on our part if something isn’t working.
It’s just all these circumstances have changed again, and now I get to ebb and flow again, and I need to find a new, I get to find a new harmony.
Karen Papin: Oh, there’s so many, like, good little nuggets in there because, so first off, I totally understand what you’re saying with the whole music, being in harmony thing, and it’s just a beautiful way to view it.
And then I love how you were talking [00:06:00] about, it’s just time to go with the ebbs and flows. Like things, the circumstances have changed and so now it’s just a matter of trying to figure it out and letting go of that guilt behind, oh no, I, I’m not spending enough time over here and I’m not spending enough time over here.
It’s like, no, it’s just a matter of going with the ebbs and flows of life.
Markell Horner: Yeah. I totally agree. And it looks like you probably would explain maybe a music analogy better than me, like I see like ukuleles and stuff in the back and the piano, and you probably would know way better than me about how all of that works together, but,
Karen Papin: well, yeah.
But you still understood it and it’s to the point that it’s like it has made an impact on your life. Yeah. So, so whether you’re a music person or not, I think you can still grasp that whole concept.
Markell Horner: Sure.
Karen Papin: So, how does this intentional living differ from striving for organized [00:07:00] perfection?
Markell Horner: So I feel like the way that I used to run my home, like my piece was very contingent upon everything being organized and put away and in order. And I slowly started to realize that that was like, that was really hurting my relationships with my family members.
And oftentimes I was passing up opportunities to. Spend time with them or to build my relationship with them because I had a to-do list. I had things that I needed to check off and things that I needed to accomplish. And I slowly started making the shift of understanding that I needed my home to be simple and I needed it to be organized enough so that I could enjoy peace, peaceful moments with my family.
And it didn’t have to wholly be dependent upon how clean my house was. And that was really, really hard. ’cause I think so often [00:08:00] we connect our worth to, well, at least I do, to the things that I can accomplish. And I worried a lot about, well, I hope somebody doesn’t come to the door and I don’t wanna answer the door because I don’t wanna let them see what’s on the other side.
Right? I don’t want them to see into my house ’cause I’m so embarrassed and I feel like it will reflect poorly on me. And so I feel like this idea of. Organized perfection doesn’t leave space for living and for life, right? If we’re expecting everything to be perfectly organized and perfectly in its place, you’re probably not living.
Like you can’t put that kind of expectation on yourself. So I think, this idea of being able to live intentionally is putting systems in place, hopefully, so that some of those things can run in the background, but also making sure that you’re putting the most important things at the forefront.
Karen Papin: I love [00:09:00] that. So how do you feel that this organized perfection impacts our ability to feel God’s love for ourselves and also for others?
Markell Horner: I think we’re putting too much pressure on ourselves. I know I do that sometimes I still do that. Like I am continually a work in progress and continually trying to work on that myself.
But, I think when we place that expectation on ourselves that things have to be perfect and things need to be organized and everything needs to run smoothly, we’re expecting that we’re not going to have to learn from mistakes. We’re expecting that we can just do all of this on our own, and we should have already have known how to do it without having to stumble.
Right. And I think that it’s a really good parallel with how we sometimes live our lives. Not just how we run our homes, but how we live our lives expecting that we’re never gonna make mistakes, that we should already know how to do this. That we’re not gonna have to find, new ways of [00:10:00] being, or change things about ourselves or our personalities to become a better version of ourselves. Right. And I think that that can really affect our relationship with ourselves and our relationship with God expecting that we should already be perfect and know perfectly how to do things or how to run things.
And I think we’re really short changing the process of growth through learning, learning line upon line, little by little tweaking and just making little changes here and there.
Karen Papin: Yeah. Yeah. That’s the learning process, right? It’s if we never went out there and we never tried and we just did things perfectly, it’s like we wouldn’t really understand how it all works.
So, in your intake form, you talked about how your worth was connected to your productivity and, how many things you could check off your to-do [00:11:00] list and how it left you feeling heavy and dysregulated. And that kind of goes back to what we were talking about earlier with the off kilter feeling, right?
Yeah. So I’m gonna read what you said. You said I was focusing way more on what I could and couldn’t do, instead of doing what I could do and leaning on Jesus Christ for the rest.
Yes. I would love to hear more about that, if you don’t mind sharing.
Markell Horner: Yeah. So this is something that’s taken, a lot of thought and therapy and time in the temple and prayer, asking God where my worth really lies. Because when I was younger I definitely had perfectionist tendencies, right?
I loved everything to be in order. I loved that there to be a process, and I placed so much of my worth on my productivity. And that was pretty easy to do when I was single, right? Like, when you’re single, it’s like, I have one task, well, maybe a few tasks to do, like I need to figure out how to feed [00:12:00] myself and maybe I have a job.
But then when I got married, that was like a little bit of a shift. And then when I started having kids, that was even more of a shift. That was really hard because I couldn’t control my environment. Like I used to be able to, and I used to have this idea of perfection that was somewhat easy to do when I was single.
But then when I started introducing all of these other factors, I wasn’t able to keep up with that, right? And at first I would really beat myself up and think, man, like I just, I really suck at this. Like, I am really terrible. And why is this so hard for me? This is really, really hard. And the more that I have leaned on Jesus Christ and come to him with.
The ways that I feel like I’m falling short and in the areas that I feel like I need help in, I’ve realized that really all I can do is do the things that I have control over and to [00:13:00] just let go of the rest and to lean more on, on Jesus Christ and to let him show me that my worth is not connected to the things that I can accomplish.
But it’s connected inherently to me being a daughter of God and me understanding that my worth does not change depending on the things that I can check off a list. And I think that, one of the things that’s so tricky about that is as we start to run a home and we start to have children, like our to-do list is never ending.
And so many of the tasks that we have to do are cyclical. Like every single day you have to be doing these tasks and they never really get finished. Like laundry is never really finished, like dishes are never really finished cleaning your house, vacuuming it, like it’s never fully finished.
And so I would get so caught up in doing these tasks over and over and over and over again, and I would get so burnt out and so tired and feel like I wasn’t accomplishing anything. [00:14:00] Instead of saying, I’m gonna focus, on these tasks that, not even tasks, but these habits or this way of living that keeps me connected to God and connected to him.
And then I’ll just, like, these, these other things can fall by the wayside. They don’t, they don’t matter as much, you know? But if I maintain my connection with him, all of those things seem easier.
Karen Papin: So when we’re like in that moment where we are just so consumed with that cycle of things that we need to do, how do we kind of pull ourselves out of that so that we can just focus on what matters most?
Markell Horner: I think that’s a really good question. And it might be, the answer might be different for everybody, but I try to do things that bring me back to the present moment. ‘Cause I feel like this idea or this obsession with having to [00:15:00] check things off of our to-do list is, is a constant obsession with what I need to, what I need to accomplish, what I need to get done next.
And when you’re in that type of a mindset, that’s constantly gonna be causing you stress. Because you’re, you’ve got this to-do list in your head, and one of the best definitions that I’ve heard of what stress is a continual focus on the next moment. And so this idea that I’ve had in starting my business, simply Stressless, right, is to create a life that is Stressless.
And that doesn’t necessarily mean that nothing is ever hard, or I don’t have to, I don’t have to try new things or it doesn’t mean that your life is always gonna be perfect, but it means that you can be present in a moment. You don’t constantly have to be focusing on the next moment.
You can be here, you can be in this moment. And so I [00:16:00] know that there are a lot of different, you know, meditation techniques or that you can do, but a lot of times I’ll just try to, take deep breaths and I find that. Like a physical connection really brings me back to like, where I am. Like, , sometimes it’s getting, just a hug from my daughter or snuggling on the couch or saying, I’m gonna, we’re gonna go on a walk and we’re gonna go outside.
We’re gonna hold hands while we go outside. It’s just slowing down and being in whatever moment you are in and making that moment special.
Karen Papin: Yeah, and I like how you talk about, you know, bringing in that physical element can also help you. I think just zeroing in and asking yourself the different senses and be like, okay, what are some things that I am hearing, or what do I see?
And just like, just really hyper focusing in on whatever you’re. Physical circumstance [00:17:00] is in that moment can just kind of ground you and help you to do exactly what you’re saying,
Markell Horner: right? Yeah, yeah, for sure, for sure. I remember, , I mean I think that we’ve all kind of been, we’ve probably all had had a similar experience to this where it feels like our day just continually gets.
Further and further out of control. And it’s like I’ve asked my kids a bajillion times to do things and now I’m starting to get frustrated and now I’m raising my voice and now I’m commanding them to go brush their teeth and go put on your pajamas and go to the like, do do do, do, do. And so I had a day where I was doing that a lot and I have a little daughter who is just an absolute empath.
Like she feels feeling so deeply and she takes so many cues from me on how I’m feeling. And so I was just like snapping at her. ’cause I wanted kids to go to bed ’cause I was really tired. And she, we were in the kitchen and she came up behind me and she just wrapped her arms around me from the back and [00:18:00] she was like, mom, sometimes I feel frustrated too.
And I just like turned and dropped to my knees and I just like held her and hugged her and it was so crazy that she knew exactly what I needed in that moment to be like. Mom needs like to take some deep breaths and she needs to know that somebody sees her and knows how she’s feeling, you know, and like, what, intuition right from a little 7-year-old.
Like that’s amazing that that’s something that she recognized. And so I think sometimes when we feel like we have this constant focus on the next moment and what needs to get done, needs to get done, we need to just, like I said, just like, stop and just be there. Give him a hug, give him some deep breaths.
Like maybe sit down and read a story together instead, you know, and just say, we’re just gonna spend some time together. We’re gonna focus on each other. So,
Karen Papin: wow, that [00:19:00] whole. I. Okay. Yeah. So my thoughts are going in different directions. Okay. So, it’s peace be still, and just this idea that we can completely miss the important things when we are so focused on all the things we need to get done.
Yeah. So just how amazing that your daughter was in tune with what needed to happen in that moment. Yeah. And just the example that that gives us for, okay, are we actually in tune with what needs to happen? Or are we focused on what we think needs to happen? Right.
Markell Horner: Yeah.
Karen Papin: Yeah.
Markell Horner: Yes, for sure. I’ve done a pretty amazing study the last six months to a year on Mary and Martha. And there’s these short five verses in Luke 10 at the very, very end of the chapter. I think it’s like verses [00:20:00] 37 through 42 or something. , But it is like a masterful story about how women experience life and experience their responsibilities, right?
It’s when, it’s when Jesus comes and Martha is doing all of the preparation preparations, right? Like she’s taking care of everything and Mary is sitting at Jesus’ feet and Martha comes and says, you know, bid Mary to come and help me. Like there’s so much that needs to get done. And Jesus tells Martha that there’s, that she, that Mary has chosen that good part and that part that can never be taken from her.
And I think pulled. Oftentimes as women and in all of the things that we have responsibility for, we’ve, we take our responsibilities really seriously, most of us, right? And all of these things that we feel like we need to accomplish and we need to check off a list, and we want other people to help us, you know?
And Martha was a little bit upset with Mary [00:21:00] that she was stopping to sit at Jesus’s feet and to, focus on her discipleship and to learn from the master, right? And Jesus with Jesus’s answer saying, Mary, you are worried and troubled about so many things, but you need to learn that there’s a time to work and there’s a time to worship, right?
There’s a time to sit and there’s a time to serve, and you can, and one come, probably comes more naturally to you than the other. But if you’re the type of person that, like you cannot sit and you’re constantly serve, serve, serve, or you’re task, task, task, that there needs to be a time and there needs to be a balance where you focus on your discipleship, when you focus on worshiping, when you focus on sitting and just being and experiencing rather than doing end planning and accomplishing.
And so I would encourage anybody who’s listening really go and do a deep dive on those scriptures, because you can get such valuable insight [00:22:00] into how yes, accomplishing things is important, but what’s most important and your most important title is a disciple of Jesus Christ and a daughter of God.
So I also have a blog that I wrote about it too, if people are interested in like a very wordy version, but it was so meaningful for me to just take those five verses and study them really deeply to understand how God feels about this balance between work and worship.
Karen Papin: I love that. I recently came across, I recently read that in my own personal scripture study, and once again, it just like really stood out to me. And there’s so much that we can learn from that story. I will put a link to the show notes to that blog, so, I’ll get that from you. But as you were talking, one of the insights that came to me was, it’s like Mary was doing exactly what Martha probably wanted to be doing.
Markell Horner: Yes. Yeah, [00:23:00]
Karen Papin: yeah,
Markell Horner: yeah. And, and Martha was doing something so good too, right? Like she is the epitome of. A good hostess. Right. And we know from the scriptures, I feel like every picture I’ve ever seen of it, it’s just like Mary and Martha are the only ones in the home, right? Or the only one in the picture with Jesus.
But Jesus was never alone, ever. Like he always had his disciples. He always had a group of people with him. So he probably, there was, it was probably a group of at least 13 people that showed up at his home. At her home, right. And like, I know for me, anytime I host anything, I am like, get the water, get the cups, get the, like, it’s like my brain is like, da da da da da, you know?
And I don’t ever just like sit and talk because I’m so concerned about the details of the evening. Mm-hmm. Right? And so yeah, I don’t wanna beat Martha up because she is doing something so good too, right? She’s trying to take care of the temporal needs of all of these people that are now in her home, [00:24:00] including Jesus.
And so to be able to make that shift of it’s such a good thing to take care of people’s temporal needs too. But she also needed to receive support. She also needed to receive care. She also needed to receive comfort and service. Right? And the only way that that was gonna come was through stopping to listen to the master, to sit at his feet and to learn.
Right? That was something that could have replenished her soul instead of her running herself into the ground. And so we all need that type of replenishment, and the best replenishment that comes is when we learn from the master.
Karen Papin: One thing that you mentioned earlier was there’s a time for doing that service and then there’s a time for.
Getting that spiritual, I don’t remember the exact words, but getting that spiritual upliftment, right? Yeah.
And a lot of times what [00:25:00] happens is when we get so caught up in all of the little things that we need to be doing and all of those responsibilities, we actually feel a lack and that is what’s motivating us and driving us to do those things like to go, go, go and do, do deal. It’s because there’s a lack inside.
And yet when we take that time to stop and be still and be, and get that clarity and connect with our Heavenly Father and get that clarity that we need, we can move forward and moving forward with that intentional living. It’s like as we’re doing that we’re actually moving forward from a place of love versus this, I need to go, go, go and do, do, do.
Because there I’m not enough.
Markell Horner: Yeah. Yes. I totally, I totally agree. And that is a pitfall that I have fallen into so many times where it’s like, this is how, this is how I earn my worth. This is how I earn it. And you, and that’s not something that [00:26:00] you earn. Right. Another thing about that Mary and Martha story that I love is sometimes when I read scripture, I like to imagine and think about like, what are the things that aren’t said?
Or what if something was said differently? How would that impact the situation? And the thing that I love about those verses is you don’t ever see, you don’t ever hear Jesus being like, Martha, where’s the water? Like, Martha, we’re really hungry over here. Like, where’s the food? Like, there’s no record of anybody being upset.
Right. And so if Martha is perceiving, well, I need to do well because I need to impress Jesus, or, you know, I need to do well because if I don’t like people are gonna think I’m not a good hostess or that I don’t care, or that I’m not doing a good job, there’s no indication in the scriptures that anybody was upset with her.
So the fact that she comes to Jesus and says, make Mary come and help me please. [00:27:00] Like there’s so much that needs to get done. Like. Mary should leave your feet and she should come and serve with me. And, the thing that I like to think about is like, well, who’s the only person judging Martha in that moment?
Because Mary is not upset that there’s no food or no water or whatever, right? And Jesus is not upset and none of the other disciples are upset. So the only one perceiving that there’s a lack, that she’s not doing a good enough job is Martha. Martha is the only one judging her effort in that situation.
Right? And so I think that what you’re saying is like we’re perceiving this lack in ourselves, that we’re not doing a good enough job or whatever efforts that we’re giving is not enough. And the only. Person really judging in that situation is ourselves. We’re judging ourselves too harshly, right?
And if we are in some situation where, [00:28:00] okay, like I believe that there are probably husbands out there who say, you’re not doing a good enough job, right? Or you’re not doing well. Like, I know that that exists. But is that the opinion that matters, right?
Like, if you’re in charge of your little realm, you be in charge of your little realm and going to God and asking him is the gift that I’m giving, is the effort that I’m putting forth? Is this enough? Is this enough? And if it’s not enough, like, please either help me to be stronger, help me to know what needs to be done.
Help me know what needs to be prioritized first and allow him to teach you. Because when you receive that support and you receive that confirmation from him that what you’re doing is enough, that’s gonna be more satisfying than, having your neighbor walk in and be like, wow, your house is so clean.
The opinions of those other people don’t matter. But feeling that, that connection with God and knowing that the effort and the sacrifices that you’re putting forth is enough for him [00:29:00] that will fill your soul more than any words of affirmation from another person.
Karen Papin: That’s awesome. Like, I feel like you’re just like, exactly what I would say to like, on my mission, we would call it double testify, but to follow up with what you’re saying, it’s like, that is what I would say.
It’s like that is why our. Understanding our divine worth and identity is so important because it’s about God’s opinion and view of us. It’s not about what the world sees, it’s about the fact that heavenly Father loves us and he sees us. And what’s amazing about that is he knows us better than we know ourselves.
He knows all of our faults, all of our weaknesses and mistakes that we’ve made, and he also knows what we are capable of. And it’s so much more powerful and amazing than we do. And he [00:30:00] knows all of that. And he’s, he like all of those weaknesses and stuff, and he still loves us and he still sees us as being these amazingly capable beings.
Divine beings. Yeah.
Markell Horner: Well, and I think too, I love that. And I love also knowing that he knows my potential, but he also knows my limitations and he knows my circumstances and he knows, like the mindset or the things that are holding me back from reaching my potential.
And so allowing him to teach you about your limitations and to support you through your growth, like you’re gonna grow so much faster and you’re gonna understand and know what’s actually really true, right? Because our brains lie to us all the time. Like there are so many things that I think that God has changed my way of thinking on some things where I’m like, oh my gosh.
Like I thought for sure I [00:31:00] had so much evidence to support. This idea that I had about myself and God just like blew it up in the best way, you know? And so and so, yeah. I love this idea of involving him in that, because he does know your potential, but he also knows your limitations and he knows your circumstances.
He knows that there are different things that are gonna be hard for you that maybe wouldn’t be hard for me, right? So for us to compare ourselves to one another, like we’re in completely different circumstances. And so we don’t need to compare ourselves to each other. We need to, we compare ourselves to ourselves and let God teach us how we can improve, and where we can improve what’s expedient right now.
You know?
Karen Papin: And I love how much compassion is in all of this too. Yeah. Thank you for bringing up that. Yeah. He knows our limitations too, and he has compassion for us in those limitations. And it’s just. And he makes, [00:32:00] and we need those limitations. We actually do need them. Mm-hmm. Because that is what turns us to him.
Like either 1227 it says, I give unto men weaknesses that they may be humble. And it’s like, yeah, we actually, in some ways those weaknesses are blessings because they keep us turning to him because he can, with him, we can do far more than we are capable of. We can do far more. Yeah. And he makes up the difference.
Yeah. Yes, he does for sure.
Okay. All right. So this is the next question that I have. How can we set goals in a way that reflects faith and stewardship rather than this need for control?
Markell Horner: Okay. So I love this question because I was listening to, like [00:33:00] for the last five years, I would say I have been listening to all of the growth gurus and, you know, set these big goals and accomplish these big things.
And so I would do that. I was like, oh, if I set these big goals, then I’ll push myself to, to accomplish them, right? And then year after year, when I didn’t accomplish it, I just wreaked havoc on myself, right? It was like, man, I really suck at this, and like, why is this so hard for me?
And of course, I’m not going to accomplish a goal like that. Like, that was so big and that was so dumb. Like, why did I think I could do something like that? And I feel like the bigger goals that I set for myself, anytime I fell short of it, , I just would beat myself up. And, and so this last year, when everybody’s going around making their New Year’s resolutions and all these big things that they wanna do, I was like, I don’t want to accomplish anything this next year.
I was like, the only thing, like [00:34:00] I, I want to become someone different. So I didn’t create these goals that were like, I’m gonna make X amount of money, or I’m gonna spend x amount of hours doing this. Like, I didn’t. I didn’t set goals like that. I didn’t set goal smart goals, right, that were measurable and specific.
And, I decided to set just like a becoming who do I want to become? And so I picked a few really simple things like, I wanna be somebody who’s active. And so I would love to walk almost every day. And I really wanna, I wanna become somebody who’s connected more connected to Jesus Christ.
And I wanna do that through scripture study. So I’m going to increase my scripture study and here’s my time in the morning that I’m gonna do that. And so I, I took this shift from goal setting and achievement to [00:35:00] who am I becoming, and I want to create really simple habits. Become that type of person.
And at least for me, that started taking things off of like a checklist to do list I need to accomplish or mark off these tasks right. To I wanna become somebody different. And, yeah, I think for me, that shift allowed there to be space for my humanity because I think that these goals that I was setting was like, I almost needed to be super woman to be able to accomplish them, right?
But wanting to become a better disciple of Jesus Christ or wanting to become somebody who respects and loves their body was different than, I wanna hit this goal weight, or I wanna, you know, and so it allowed more space for my humanity. It allowed space for, oh man, like I didn’t get as much of a scripture study [00:36:00] in today, but like tomorrow I can do that and I’m still becoming a better disciple of Jesus Christ and I’m still taking steps towards him.
Even if it wasn’t every single day I have to do this, but am I improving? Am I becoming that type of person that does that
Karen Papin: the deepest level that we, deepest level of change is identity. And so I like the becoming goals like that, that like that phrase becoming and so often when we set goals, and we might even do this with those becoming goals too, is that we see. What we want to be or what we want to accomplish.
And, we start measuring where we are with, where we don’t see ourselves as yet. Right. Or where we want to be. And, there’s, my goodness, I mention this book all the time on this podcast. [00:37:00] There’s a book called The Gap in the Game by Dan Sullivan and Dr. Benjamin Hardy. Benjamin Hardy. Yep. And in it, they talk about, that you are, that, about measuring ourselves against that ideal, but really it’s the direction.
What direction do you want to be going?
Markell Horner: Yeah. Yeah. I think sometimes in my brain I’m like, I’m at a one and I need to jump to a 10. Like I wanna accomplish a 10 level goal. And, but I haven’t hit levels 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9. Right. To accomplish a 10 level goal. And so I feel like that’s kind of what I did this year is like I wanna become somebody who’s just like a level two.
Like I don’t need to be a level 10. I don’t need to go crazy because I’m gonna beat myself up if I can’t jump that gap. Right. But like I can take the next best step, I can become a level two person. Right. And eventually, eventually, hopefully I’ll get to a level 10. But assuming that I can jump from a level one to a [00:38:00] level 10, that’s crazy.
I have not developed the skills or the strength right, to be a level 10. But I can be a level two, I can push it up a little bit. I can step it up a notch and I can be a level two. So yeah, I think, yeah, like , I love that idea of to be able to close that gap. Like you need to just gain a little bit more.
It just needs to be little by little. You don’t need to do too much, too fast.
Karen Papin: Yeah. Yeah. Even 1% better is still progress.
Markell Horner: Yeah. And probably if you can do 1% and you can do it consistently, that’s better than being jumping 10% and then falling back 10% and then jumping 10. If you can consistently do this 1% change consistently, and let it change you, that’s longer lasting change than bouncing all over the place, you know?
Karen Papin: Yeah. Yeah. That’s such a good point. And you get burned out when you do that. It’s like, okay, then you jump up that 10% and then [00:39:00] it’s like, oh, you’re exhausted. And it’s just, it’s not sustainable.
Markell Horner: Yeah. Yeah. I’m like the burnout queen. Like that is, I burn out so, so fast. ’cause I push myself too hard, too much, too hard and too fast.
Instead of just being like, I can be patient with little increments of change. So. Yeah, it’s tough.
Karen Papin: Yeah. Okay, so we kind need to wrap up.
So what do you feel is one small and simple thing that people can do today to take away what we’ve been talking about?
Markell Horner: Yeah, so, this obviously has nothing to do with organizing your home or running your home or creating organized habits, but I feel like one of the best things that I started to do was to attend the temple with my questions and concerns, specifically in [00:40:00] relation to my birth and my standing before God.
‘Cause that has been, I think one of my biggest struggles is I never feel like I’m doing enough. Or I’d never feel like I’m reaching my potential or I’m falling short and I’m disappointing him somehow. And inside of the temple, I have had amazing experiences where God has corrected incorrect beliefs that I’ve held about myself.
He has shown me that he’s proud of me. He’s let me know that I’m gonna be okay, that my efforts are good enough, and he’s proud of the effort that I’m putting in. I had this experience maybe two months ago was going and as I was sitting there, I just had this thought of like, I’m gonna be okay. Like, I’m trying to obey the gospel with a true and honest heart. And that’s enough, right? [00:41:00] I’m trying to be faithful in keeping my covenants, and that’s enough.
Because every time when I start thinking about, well, am I doing enough to be in the celestial kingdom? Am I serving enough? Am I becoming that type of person? That, that feels so heavy for me. But to be able to say, am I trying to obey the gospel with a true and honest heart? And am I faithful in keeping my covenants?
And that doesn’t mean I’m perfect, right? But am I faithful? Am I loyal? Am I trying, am I continually repenting and coming back to Jesus Christ, then that’s enough. Like, I’m gonna, I’m gonna be okay. Christ provides. Ample opportunities for us to become the type of person that we need to become to live eternal life or to live God’s life.
So I would say attend the temple with everything that feels heavy, every question that you have, every doubt that you have, attend the temple and let him speak to you.
Karen Papin: Such good advice. What’s your favorite divine worth scripture?[00:42:00]
Markell Horner: Let me read it. Can I read it?
Karen Papin: Yes, go ahead.
Markell Horner: Okay. Lemme pull it up. I feel like, there were so many to choose from because the scriptures really speak to me.
Like I love the scripture so much, but this is in second Corinthians 12, and it’s verses nine and 10. And this is the part where Paul is talking about having a thorn in the flesh, right? Something that is hard for him, a shortcoming of him, of some kind. He goes to the savior and asks him to remove it multiple times.
And this was, this is the response that the savior gives. And he said unto me, my grace is sufficient for thee, for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly, therefore, will I rather glory in my infirmities that the power of Christ may rest upon me. Therefore, I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches and necessities, and persecutions in distress for Christ’s sake.
For when I am weak, then am I strong. And I love these scriptures [00:43:00] because when you are, when you’ve rested your divine worth on the things that you can accomplish, or in never making mistakes, oh man, it’s gonna plummet. It’s gonna plummet so hard. But I love that these scriptures say that, that his grace is sufficient and it is because of our weaknesses that we’re allowed to see his strength.
And so be grateful for your weaknesses. You should glory in your infirmities, right? Because those are the opportunities that you have to see Christ come in and to make you strong. It’s because of his strength that those weaknesses are made whole and made strength, right?
Strengths, right? I mean, it’s a lot like either 1227, just be, be happy and be grateful for the ways that you’re falling short because you get to see the most beautiful miracle when Christ comes and heals you and makes you whole. So I love those [00:44:00] scriptures.
Karen Papin: Yeah, that’s beautiful. Markell, thank you so much for sharing that, for coming on the podcast today.
I have just one more question and that’s how can people connect with you?
Markell Horner: So I am mostly on Instagram, at Simply.Stressless and. That’s mostly where I am. I have a website too, simplystressless.live, if people are interested in looking around
Karen Papin: with that too. Okay, sounds good. We’ll link those to the, in the show notes and also to your blog about Mary and Martha and yeah, thank you so much for coming on today.
Yeah, thank you.
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Karen Papin:
To learn more about your divine worth and potential, you can download some free scripture cards focused on your worth at https://karenpapin.com/scripturecards. You are of worth. You have a purpose. The Lord loves you and he believes in you and only you can make the impact on this world that you are meant to make.
Join me next time as we talk more about divine worth and potential.
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